Jux read a touching article in the reader's digest.
Its about this man suffering from extreme amnesia- he couldnt remember
anybody except his wife.
He have to live in the brain surgery unit everyday, but he would always
reognise his wife's voice everytime she calls.
Everytime he wakes up, he forgets what happened yesterday and repeat
his conversation every single day.
But his wife will never get tired of what he says. She works full time to
support his medical fees and talks regularly with him daily by the phone.
The couple only meets up every weekend where they spend their time playing
music together.

Getting all emo.. hahaha.
Love is a crazy thing.
Heartbreaking yet so empowering.

How many people actually found true love in their lives?
Love is not all abt affection, intimacy, or sweet talking.
Its not all about the "I am attached" status.

True love is when a couple go thru thick and thin, high times and low times,
and still able to love each other.

Some of my girl friends got attached, they called their steads "hubby",
"lao gong" and all the other mushy stuff.

For me, i realli wish to call him that but the future is really unknown.
But what i really know is that right now, i love him a lot.
Willing to sacrify my everything for him.
Next week is his birthday and our 10th mth anniversary. (n it actualli falls on
the same day!)

Cant wait to celebrate! =)

These entry is for all the guys that are clueless.


When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a fewseconds,
she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are so wonderful.

When a girl lays on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday,
she is seeking for your attention.

When a girl wants to see you everyday,
she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says, "Ill love you forever,"
she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you,
she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more than that.


Getit?!?

Dao Qing's blog caused quite a huge hoo-ha bout racism.
Yeah.. a touchy subject ya know.
We are all racist thinking bout how racist other people is- that's human.

Malays breathe, eat, shit and farts.
Chinese breathe, eat, shit and farts.
Indians breathe, eat, shit and farts.
Eurasians breathe, eat, shit and farts.

So what is the *** difference between all the races in Spore?
Cause we have different skin colour?
How shallow is it huh?

I suppose its smth that passes from generation to generation.
Parents always characterize other races by stereotypes.
Naturally we grew up thinking," Yeah, maybe that's true."
And when we go out and meet a few people like that, it clicks wit everything our
parents told us.
We assumed everybody who is of their race/religion are like that.

I never realise racism is such a big problem before.
I was in a Buddhist primary sko, and 99.9% are Chinese.
(the other 0.1% is a mixed.)
In my secondary school years, thou there are malays and indians,
majority are chinese.
But i managed to click with the malays. though their always in a group,
we still chat once in a while.
Sometimes we speak our language in front of them, but no doubt there is mutual respect.
In sec 5 i found 2 best buds
- one indian-malay mix and one pure malay (& a fuckin fat one, heh).

Then when i came to ITE, everything changes.
They made racist joke in malay in front of the whole class.
They made fun of my God.
And im like thinking, So, now, they are the majority, so they can do whatever they want?
In what way are chinese less superior than the malays?

But now i realise, why am i angry at malays as a whole?
Some malays did that. But not all.
Am i thinking the way these shallow people think?

I have brains, ya know.
Its just people. they are a bunch of imbecile-s.
Dumb is an appropraite word to describe.
But not because they are malays, but they are just dumb in the head.
They think its damn amusing to make these kinda jokes.
Well, i find it amusing that they find these kinda things amusing.
Ironic.
Just let them say what they want, and let them laugh all they want.


Because only smart people have the last laugh.
And all the smart people of the world (regardless of race, language or religion say Amen.
ha.

Yo!
Time to bitch bout ANTM again!!!
Woot!
wow, and Jade's said she wanna be a Kindergarden teacher.
And i tot its a joke.
Does she even have compassion?
and cmon, wit her fuckin looks like tt, she will probably scare all the kids away.
See the way she posed at the pics, she looks like Bai ling.
And both of them are equally ****.
She said to the other contestant," Its not American's Next Top Best Friend."
But its not American's Next Top Bitch either.
Im sure she will come out tops for that contest. Ha.

And Gina.. Its a waste, i guess she has alrdy give up on herelf and the competition.
Its not bout the looks really, its bout self-confidence.
Okie, i shall bitch next tym, my bro's watching South Park- vol 3 (An Elephant makes love
to a pig) so i cant help but to watch it wit him.

Plus all those Hip hop dirty r&b, my fav entertainment-s is slowly corrupting my mind.
Or shld i say im alrdy fucking corrupted.

There i go again.

 

Ystd's been a real scary day at work for me. 
Eversince i started working at SMC, ive seen lotsa crazy shopper (some even regular ones).
Crazy as in there's a nut screwed up in their heads.

Most of them are harmless, we just ignore them, but ystd i met a real scary one.
My supervisor's out, so im left alone in the shop.
I was serving an auntie who was looking for vcds, so i go all the way to the back
to search for her.
At the same time there's a man in his 50s kept staring at me.
The auntie couldnt get what she want so she left the shop,
and then this man is like practically shouting," EH!"

So i ask him whether he need any assistance, then he said eh again then he move
forward like he's gonna attack me.
He look so fierce.
I backed off.

It happens the second time, i culdnt stand it so i went to the front where there is
a regular customer (who is also crazy but harmless).
Then that scary man walk right in front then he started to scold me stupid.
He look so fierce like he's gonna attack me.

Now, this is like a pet peeve, i hate ppl scolding me "stupid."
U can scold me anything, but not stupid.
So thou i was shaking inside, i shout back, i called him mad.
Well i was being honest rite? ha.

He stand outside the shop and giving me that angry stare.
So i glared at him.
Im seriously fucking pissed,
i m ready to defend myself by hurling cds if he ever attack me.

Im realli freaked out.
Den i told that harmless crazy guy that i was freaked out.
He laughed.
And i said," U dunno meh, there are lotsa crazy people at thomson plaza."
He said," Really?!?"
And im like thinking, " yeah, ur one of them."

But thnk God he is there, if not i dunno what will happen to me.
i used to think he is farkin annoying, but i guess he is just lonely.


At least he is harmless.

Okie, this update is to satisfy some "faithful" readers of mine. Ha.

Feeling a bit of a hangover now, cux i accidentally added
wine into my grass jelly ystd.
N i didnt even noe. How dumb was i huh?
Well, the grass jelly itself is sweet but i didnt noe. 
 N damn it, how m i suppose to noe that my mom put cooking wine into the goddamn jar (used to contain honey.)
So u culdnt blame me.   


Ystd's Sunday (Its early in the morning now so i can blog bout ydae, heh).
N i had to work.
I hate working on Sundays. Lotsa shitty customers who have no shopping "etiquette".


There's this uncle who put the rewards card on the table and didnt say anything,
so i tot it was for smth else and cash in wit his visa,
and he said he wanna use the rewards card.
" Den i put there for wad?" He said as if i was dumb.

For heaven's sake, uncle, pls open ur fucking golden mouth n talk ya?
I m not a mind reader u 1beep2.

then comes and auntie, want me to airplay so many disc,
but dun even noe what the heck she wanna buy.
Another customer came and said, " Oh, Luther vandross is nice.. But he died of stroke at a young age."


Den that auntie said," really??? He died..OH!!!"

In the end, out of 6 cds, she only bought one.
Guess, Its Luther Vandross.

Pls have a mind of ur own, music is something u explore,
she dunno even noe a shit bout music.
Sad.

Den i suggest u use the money to invest on anti ageing creams, auntie.

okie okie, that's all for now. More shit to tell u next time,
cus im waitin for a vip to come.
Heh.
And i DEMAND a hangout wit the Wewes.

NOVEMBER HOTTIE

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and

dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.

Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards

your inner and outer beauty and independent

personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional

and temperamental sometimes. Meets new

people

easily and very social in a group. Fearless and

independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a

crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the

greatest men are born in this month. If you ever

begin a relationship with someone from this

month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.

WAHAHA!

Just finished watchin ANTM on tape.
The korean girl Gina is pretty, but she should be proud of her heritage.
I mean, if ur an Asian, then ur an Asian.
its America's next top model, not AmericaN next top model.
Getit?!?

i dun understand why some people wanna dye their hair gold and
tryin to be an ang moh.

For me, im proud to be an Asian! =)

And i hate that bitch (Jade) who is constantly trying to put her down. 
What? She got a prob wit Asian or smth?!?
I tell you, she dun haf the right.
Why?

BECAUSE SHE IS DAMN FUCKING UGLY.
Look at her looks. *Puke*
So fuckin ugly so she feels that there's a need to put ppl down so
she could win.
Fugly bitch.
Still wanna be an america's next top model?
The judges must be blind to have her as one.
Eww. She is the ugliest and the most digusting bitch contestant ive seen
in any cycle.
look at her evil smirks and all. She must have worship satan or smth.
Eww!

Okie, its just me and my fav show. Wahaha.
IM OBSESSED!

The Lord spoke to me, so loud and clear.
He said, "Give me some time."

I never actually believe God can speak to people,
 but its true.
Its not that hard to differentiate God's voice
with your own voice actually.
Its pretty amazing.

Let me share an inspiring word from the bible.

"Let your light so shine before men,
that they may see your good works 
and glorify your Father in heaven."
- Matthew 5:16

Yeah. It doesnt really matter whether 
we are from ITE, Poly or JC.
Being in which institute doesnt necessary gauge ur future.
ITE doesnt mean its the end. We are bright students, we really are.
Its just that we slacked too much.
Most of us have better imagination than those people 
who practically memorise the whole model composition book
 just to score their Eng O lvls, no pun intended.

I am gonna be a living testimony for God!


Before i end this entry, just wanna tell u a good news.
I
have
Gotten
anOther
GEMS
CARD!

WoOT~!

Hey bloggy... Should i tell u a secret?!?

Hm.. i dun think so...

Should i?

Its pretty embarassing.................................................................

Let me think................. Hm..........................................................
Okie okie it wun hurt niwaes..
Here goes...
i miss skool.

AARGH! What have i said! Wad the *!!!!! 
How on earth did my fingers type this out? 
WAD THE *! Wad the *!

Music: Bullet for my valentine- All these things i hate (Revolve around me)

Once more I'll say goodbye to you.
Things happen, but we don't really know why
If it's supposed to be like this
Why do most of us ignore the chance to miss?

All these things i hate evolves around me.
Just back off before i snap!



It hasnt been smooth sailing today.
I just felt sad, over what? I seriously cant put my finger on the prob.
Was it because of my new cell group?
Toie?
Somedays i wake up feeling fresh and confident, ready to crack some stupid joke.
But somedays, things just feel so out of place, like im not myself.

It's one of these days that i hate my freaking character.
I guess im just a fuckin introvert. Cant realli mixed around well wit new people.
Its my problem, really, my own * problem.

Since young i always like to shy away from people, when i was a bit older, i only tok to those whom i feel like talking to, and we ended up being pretty good friends, and they say i wasnt myself the first few days that i met them.

And now, i tried to mix around. I did. And some people think im friendly, im not. Im just a fuckin antisocial tryin to be friendly. I dun even what the fuck is wrong wit me. Ok, im not very fugly in appearance, but im just not very confident on the inside. I seriously dunno y.

Maybe i just dunno how to express myself when im talking. When i communicate wit toie, i just culdnt really tell him how i was feeling. If i were to write, i can write ten pages full for him.

Aargh. I feel like a *! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WIT ME!?!
Why cant i be as charismatic as them?
Why God Why!


On a lighter note, i just recieved 2 GEMS card ystd!!!
Woot!
GEMS= Go the Extra Mile Service
Heh. Call me easily contented- im just very motivated by those pink cards!
Im so determined to serve my customers better!!


Hope i'll be happier for the days to come. Im an emotional freak.
Why m i always putting myself down?
Aargh, i dunno.
Im just lookin forward to my best buds hangout on weds.
Cux sop is a more antisocial then me! Yays! =P

I was an effin idiot. And i still am. Haha.

Things turn out better. Starting to see the light.

Finished our exams ystd, it isnt tt easy. Some of my frens are realli f* up bout the paper, well, i dun realli expect myself to get high marks, after all, i didnt realli put in much effort. Ha.

Okie, i promise that i will study hard next semester. It isnt an empty promise.

But right now, IT'S TIME FOR HOLS!!! WOOT!!!!!
I do miss my best buds (sop if ur readin tis), i cant wait to hang out wit em la. Niwaes seldom see Sop in sko, even if we do, we acted like strangers. Ive no idea why.
But well..... i want another food trip. ( and yes ur treating =P)

Oh and im gonna miss my girls too. We had so much fun bitching at the airport ystd. i realise that im becomin such a bitch after i know them, wahaha..
Or shuld i say that they made me realise the potential bitch i have in me.

Im so crappy today. But aargh, whatever.
And i realise i seriously shuldnt use the word "whatever", its freakin irritating.

I need to hang out wit so many people, but i dun think i have tt much time, most probably i'll be burying myself in work.
"Money, why are u so important?!?" (Quote and unquote from Mrsop.blogspot.com.)



I freakin agree.

"Just after you achieved a spiritual victory, is when you're the most vulnerable.

When suddenly you don't sense the presence of God in your life anymore. Instead, you sense this overwhelming force of darkness surrounding you. The devil screaming in your ears, mocking you, tempting you to compromise. You won't have to find distractions. Distractions will automatically find you. The whole thing makes you feel like exploding on the inside. You feel like a balloon being pricked by a needle."


Wow. Gary's words suddenly enlightened me. ha.

Thnks Gary.

Feeling: Lost
Music: Lucifer's angel

What do I do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my instincts blindly?
Do I hide my pride from these bad dreams?
And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening?

Must i sit here and try to stand it?
Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness,
Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness?

Because I cant hold on when Im stretched so thin
I make the right moves but Im lost within
I put on my daily facade but then
I just end up getting hurt again

I ask why, but in my mind
I find I can’t rely on myself

It’s all too much to take in


If I turn my back Im defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then theyll
Take from me till everything is gone
If I let them go I’ll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun
If Im killed by the questions like a cancer
Then I'll be buried in the silence of the answer


Im so afraid that Im out of touch
How do you expect... I will know what to do
When all I know Is what you tell me to

Dont you know ?
I can’t tell you how to make it go
No matter what I do, how hard I try
I cant seem to convince myself why
I’m stuck on the outside

Was in the bus just now, there is this 2 girls sitting in front of me cuddling each other. Ha.
I find it interesting. Im sick. Ha. Whenever i saw 2 guys browsing cds in my shop, i'll be wondering whether they are brokeback mountains.
Its getting more popular in Singapore, i dun give a damn but the government should consider bout it. Not enuf babies in the coming future. Wahaha.

Thnks peeps for all ur tags. At least i've friends who love me. Heex.
Went to yun's family gathering at pasir ris park, it was a night i will never forget.
Her 5 year old cuzzy is soooo cute! Love her a lot. We brought the children to the playground and played games we havent played for ages. Then this other kid began to join us, and soon enuf, we had lotsa lotsa fun!

It sure brings back the childhood memories. I love kids.
I can feel a very special connection wit em, and i find them very inspiring.
They do not need to care much bout wad others think, so lovable and they are contented and happy with the simplest thing.

it feels great playing catching wit them, and i run, it feels like i was a 5 year old kid again, with no worries, no pain, no sorrow.



I felt so free.




Xin Yi. Isnt she sweet?!?


Drew this for her. She's so happi wit my drawing! *Proud*


And i miss toie so much.

Now waiting for his call. I pray for him everyday.
Aargh, i just love him so much!!!


Enuf of this sappy shit. Cya next entry.
Oh ya, and all the best for ur exams tmr =)

Why is it always that i have an off day and i choose to stay at home, quarrels happen?

WHY?!?

If its not for this reason, its for the other.
All the fingers pointing at me.

We were having dinner and i finished eating first, i went ahead to watch my vcd.
After they come back, that woman said:" WHy is the dining table so messy?"

Me: I finished my dinner first.

Her: Why are u so selfish? U shuld have cleaned up for bro and sis.

Me: But how m i suppose to know whether they have dirtied the table? I have my own stuff to do rite? U dun expect me to wait for them to finish their food then clean their table for them, rite?

Her: U shuld at least tell them to clean the table themselves rite?


WTF!
Is this fair?
Im not a fucking naggy housewife like her who will observe every single thing they do.
Im 17, gimme a break!
i have my own life.
Every thing i do is selfish. One pri 4, one Sec2, they should be responsible for their own stuff.
Am i suppose to remind them to do all their shit? So when they need to go toilet i have to stand outside the bathroom and remind them to flush the toilet bowl?!?

IT ISNT FAIR.
It isnt fucking fair!

Then my dad starts to come in and said i have no freaking respect for her wadsoever.
He said i dun belong to this family since i wanna believe in Christianity.
"Go to ur Father God, why regard us as a family?!?"

My dad is the only reason why i want to go home. It seems that it doesnt even fucking matter at all.

Ths house is so beautifully painted with the colour of warm peach..
But yet it feels so cold.
For me, this house is only for shower, sleep, and breakfast.
Other than that, everything i do seems so damn wrong.
Life is just work, sko and friends.
I dun feel like goin to church anymore, it isnt meant for motherfucking sinners like me who is bound to go to hell anyway.

Since he is not around, the only thing i can do to get rid of all the thoughts in my head is to blast rock the whole night.
I think im going deaf soon.

You say I'm heartless
And you say I don't care
I used to be there for you
you've said I seem so dead, that I have changed
But so have you- Guilty (The Rasmus)

Mood: Disappointed
Music: F-F-F-Falling- The Rasmus


When people got new friends, they moved on.
I supposed.
Sigh.
friends forever?!?
How many friendships will last a lifetime?
Things change.
LIFE STILL GOES ON.


I don't go to school every single day

I've got my reason to sleep

Don't you tell me how I should be

Made up my mind 'bout the music

Made up my mind 'bout the style


This life is so full of temptation

And I want to keep it that way

I know myself I can handle the game

Made up my mind 'bout the future

Made up my mind 'bout the past

I know that I'm stable and able to hold on

i need a flame I need a spark


Don't be afraid to open my heart

I need a game I need a shock

Don't be afraid my heart is unlocked.

1 idoit.

2 idiots.
4 idiots.
1 shawty and 1 idiot.

2 idiots rejoice.

And 10 Little INDIAN BOYS!!!

Yays.
Im here to post again!!!!!

New pics to entertain thyself.....

(In the risk of getting killed.)

haha.

2 days.

2 more days.

Racial Harmony?

I DUN GIVE A SHIT!

Cant realli post much, i dun wanna get sued or smth.

Thank God Its Friday.

Enjoy ur weekend peeps!

(While i mugged for my exams. Sigh.)

My covenant with the Lord

3rd day since he has been away.
He'll be coming back for awhile but i haf no idea when.
Pray that i'll be able to meet him. =)

Juz read my classmate's blog, it seems that almost every Christian have the same problems. Sigh.
One of the 3 rules every Christian is to marry somebody with the same belief.
Even if it is not a rule, it is difficult to communicate with somebody who doesnt have the same belief or simply doesnt believe that ur God existed.

It is never easy to be a Christian. Nobody said it was easy. (To be a true Christian, at least.)
A friend says,"Christians sin more than non christians."
Well, i dun deny that the statement is true. We are still human, we DO sin, we are not God.
And sometimes the more you believe, the devil will tempt you more. It is a test of faith.

Recently i begin to lose faith. I had even forgotten to give thanks when i was having my meal.
The doubts in my mind came back.
God, if You are true, why cant You soften my parents heart?
God, if You are true, why are there still so much suffering in the world?

Im so ashamed. I sin, i swear, i curse.

But somehow, something in my heart tells me to continue to go church, to attend cell group meetings, there are lotsa doubts in my mind but the only thing that i will never doubt is the presence of God that feels so strong in my heart, mind and soul.

Well, some people think, its fun to go church, it is fashionable, that's why people went there to recieve Christ.
Think about it again.
Every fri, you have to attend cell group meetings.
Every sat, instead of hanging out wit ur friends, you have to attend service.
If you are a helper in cell group, you'll have to follow up.
Evangelise.
You think its fun to call friends to church, huh?
When we are so desperate, you think we are bugging u.
You think we like to bug you?
I would rather much live in my own comfort zone, but i dont.


When i hear my parents speak of blasphemy, i feel so sad. When they confront me, i denied Christ. I felt so guilty, so guilty. I felt like i was Simon Peter when Jesus was captured. But they might never allow me to go church again.


Lord, please guide me. I know You are there.
I know You are always there.
Even when i forsake you, you will still be there.


I was once lost, but now im found.
The world will never take away my covenant with You, Lord.

Current mood: Lazy
Music: Leave me alone (im lonely)- Pink



I promised him not to cry.
But everytime i lay on bed while hugging shaggy, i'll be like thinkin, what is he doin there?

Is he thinking of me like im thinking of him now?

Is he doing fine?

Though i know that he cant be doing any better there, tears starts streaming down.
Im such a crybaby. Haha.
I miss him so much.

God can You fast forward the time to 6 days latr?


Go away, give me a chance to miss you.
Say Goodbye, it'll make me wanna kiss you.

Current mood: Confused
Music: London Bridge- Fergie

Went for the Sunday service for the first time, it was also my first time wit my new cell grp, N347. They are friendly people. But it feels kinda weird cuz there are more young working adults.
Nonetheless i miss my cell grp so so much.

But when people go to church (namely, city harvest), is it becuz of their friends?
Peer pressure?
Insecurity?
To have fun?
Or do they have some teenage delinquency?

Some people just dont get it. They only believe in hear' say.
They dont even noe anything about it yet they judge us.

Next time when u have some opinion of our church, come and attend our service before you even comment.

Sigh. Ive forsaken the Lord so many times. I feel so guilty.