Sometimes you give;
Sometimes they take.

Sometimes you bend;
And sometimes they break you down.

Sometimes you stick around;
Trying to change them, make them, someone that they'll never be.




And sometimes you leave.

ROC BOYS

YOU CALL THIS ATTITUDE?!?







Let me show you what's REAL ATTITUDE.
Ladies and gentleman, i present to you..




Roc Boys. I'd never see Jay Z as a sexy black man, i think he's kinda cute cuz he's kinda chubby. But he sure looks good in that suit. And not mention Sean Combs.


I wonder when is the "Unforgivable" scent for women coming out in SG.
It should be called, "RESPECTABLE" cuz he never have respect for any woman, just like MANY guys out there. He really should do smth good once.




The roc boys in the building tonight
oh what a feeling I'm feeling life
you dont even gotta bring your paper out
we the dope boys of the year drinks is on the house !!!

God knows what

HELP!

I had some allergic reaction to god-knows-what. Its behind my legs and its so freaking hideous!
And i expected the doctor to give me smth to make those ugly bumps go away.. but all she gave me was some itch-reliever. That's all?!?

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I seriously have to stop kicking up such a fuss... but its HIDEOUS!!! gawd~!!!!


Ok. Fuss about smth else. Initially the Shan-an's 3 months suggestion was changed to a month. I suggested it cuz i dont see why we should waste so much time.

And then just the start, a day after we both agreed, he called me.

Now am i supposed to be touched because it seems like he couldnt live wout me? Or am i suppose to wise up and see the bigger picture that he is seriously not that disciplined?


I am having mixed feelings, really. Sometimes i wonder why i should let a guy screw up my emotions like that. Sometimes i really need him and i missed those great times. But sometimes when i think about how he betrayed me, i can never forgive him. I know that if he has everything, he will definitely take it for granted. He is rash, impulsive and ill-disciplined. He is just like those hollywood celebrities that just refuses to go to rehab.


I am still angry with him. I still think he is a jerk.


But i cant seem to refuse his endless phone calls and his endless "Can i see you tmr"dates. The fact that i dont want to stay home just make his offer so enticing.


Everything is just a lie.



To my friends, if you read this, call me, sms me, meet me and just give me a slap on the face. Let me see the reality, if not i might continue to do stupid things. Its really degrading and if i carry on like this i am going to get hurt again.



To Him: Please stop it. I am not your girlfriend anymore. It is really not that hard to find some other girl to cheat on. Please dont do this to me anymore..if you really need a fren to talk to, i really dont mind talking to you on the phone. But dont say," I love you" just to lie and cheat on me again. PLEASE DO SOMETHING GOOD. For once.

It strucked me.

I sincerely pray that the next one would be better. I really do.

Life has only just begun!

Went out with Jo for some self-grooming (which fucking hurts like hell) and did a little shopping. Oh, and we had Gelare waffles and an ice-cream cake!

I went to Gramaphone and HMV to ask for job vacancy. I can imagine myself working there.. i really hope that they can accept me.. i dont mind spending my weekends in a music store. =)



This is the good thing about being single, no liabilities, just do what i feel like doing. And i can actually learn to appreciate the things that i took for granted.. simple things like the refreshing feeling when i just got out of the shower.. simple things like reading a magazine while snacking on fruits..

Although there are down sides like feeling negative whenever strangers in your house just want to say or do things to annoy you.. but its ok, i am pretty independent.
Sometimes these emotional baggages are too much to bear, it sucks not to have a boyfriend to lean on like i always used to do.




At this point of time, i wonder what he is doing now. Probably later he will try to date girls out in his class, since he is also free of liabilities like me.
If it makes him happy, then good for him. I dont indulge in the thrill of the chase. It would be nice and flattering if someone is chasing me but it is just that. I am not desperate. I have my self worth, you know?




Probably one of these days i am going to start writing articles for the newspaper. I need a good portfolio next time if i want to do mass comms. My aim is to get at least one of my articles published. At the same time, have been contemplating about being an air stewardess.


It doesnt suit my character, but somehow it does.



Contradicting, right?




Let me explain.

Being in the media requires me to be very vocal, but im naturally pretty soft spoken. As in, my "skin" is as thin as tissue paper.


I am emotional, which is a plus point for being creative but a bad point as i might get disheartened easily. I still remember the time when i waited for my articles to be published, i was so full of anxiety, and if its not published i will be quite devastated.
And if its published, i read my article and i will be like thinkin, " Why the fuck did i write a crap like that?"


Sucha freak, lol.


Being an air stewardess, probably i will live a pretty good life. All i need to do is to be humble and serve the snobbish fat people and noisy kids on the plane. My dad wanted me to be. I can get to travel around the world since i haven travelled on a plane before. I can stay away from home. I can learn self grooming tips and get myself to be better looking, and when i meet shallow people outside in clubs or whatever, they will be like, " WHOA, AIR STEWARDESS!"

And probably some desperate fuckface will try to get me so that they can tell others, " HEY I SLEPT WITH AN AIR STEWARDESS!!!"



I'll probably get to enjoy my life for the next 10 years, if the economy is still good. And after that i hope that i can find a rich husband by 29. Hm. But i wonder by then if i really know the true meaning of life. Does it matter anyway?




I am still contemplating.

DO KARMA REALLY EXIST?!? - By Zhuang Yuting


Suharto.. finally dead.
Rest in peace.. we will always remember WHAT YOU DID!


KARMA, KARMA!!!


Let's wait for the one in "truly asia" to be dead. You know who. Sue me if you want.



Do karma really exist?

Why do evil people lead such a long life?
Why do players attract so many girls?
Why do hypocrites always climb their way to the top of the social/corporate ladder?



What is karma?

Oh well, just check this out.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karma




Is life fair? Is there really God?
Maybe heaven is just created for people to console themselves that they actually can get something good for being good. Ive been to church, and i really want to believe. But somehow, i still cant.


Somehow i believe that every human being is capable of doing everything a human is capable of.
For example, you are not born with a good voice but you can sing well (e.g: Macy Gray, Sean Kingston).

In my opinion, there's no such thing as having a good nature or a bad nature.

So IF karma doesnt exist, does that mean that i can do what i want?


I think i should.



Since i dont want to be played, does it mean that i should play?
I want to be a predator, not the prey. hey, it rhymes! =)


haha.. but anyway, call me stupid, call be disillusioned.
I can trust nobody else but myself.
Ive been a fool for 8 months and im still pissy.
Ive been living in this house that doesnt even feel like a home.


Money talks. Yes it does.
TRUE friends are important and i will cherish them.
Live for myself and nobody else, dont put in effort in relationships anymore.




I'll stop wallowing in self pity.
I'll NEVER be a victim anymore.

To everyone reading:

I am going to make this short and sweet.



Sorry for all the people i had neglected throughout this whole failed relationship.
And i thank everyone that is there for me throughout this difficult time.
Every relationship has a "He said She said" fight. I do admit that i had my flaws, and i am not goin to point fingers at other people.


I've gained some, and i've lost some.


I aint gonna find a rebound. I am still going to be the person that i always is.


But this time.. I am better. And stronger.

Loves,

Yuting

Do you think it was easy for me to get over this breakup? No it is not. But it is the only thing to do. I may appear calm in front of you, i can go out with friends as if nothing has happened, why?!?


Because my tears for you have dried. You think you've suffered a lot these few days, there's nothing compared to what i suffered inside for the past 8 months. You will never know how it feels, when someone you love thinks that he already gave you the best he can, yet he is never contented with you.


Whenever i doubt you and i kicked up a big fuss, i always think that its my fault for being so sensitive, and everytime we patched up and i thought i do you wrong for giving you attitude, just as i thought you were the best boyfriend ever, some cold hard facts just slapped me across the face. Everytime i ask myself, is it because i am not good enough? Why must you do this to me?


Sometimes i cry inside, and you dont know how much it hurts, you think you are so noble, you loved me so much that you cant eat and sleep, and i will go back to you?


NO! This isnt right. Because if i take you back its still gonna be the same. You say it isnt, how do you trust urself when you are never disciplined enough?

***


Turning 21 this year, what have you, as a man, accomplished in your life?
How many people IN YOUR LIFE have you actually be COMPLETELY honest with?


What makes a man? Is it money, car, girls, house or a status?


No, all this comes ONLY after you have achieved who you are inside.



You want to talk about rich people? Let me talk about rich people.

Bill Gates is a philanthropist. He married his ONLY wife in 1994. He is named by Times as one of the 100 most influential people in the 21st century.


Why did he need to donate so much money when he can keep it to himself?
You may think that if you are as rich, you would definitely do it, yea bullshit.
You have many 1 dollars yourself, why arent you donating to the buskers everytime you see them?


He is filthy rich, he can spend many incredible dates with many girls, but no, he choose to stay faithful to one. You think its easy? Just ask yourself.


If he is not a man with Character, do you think that he can be one of the most influential? Paris Hilton's grandfather is rich, but he is not under the category.



DONT YOU SEE? Its from the inside out, not from the outside in!!!
You want to be successful, you want to be rich??? But you dont even have the right mindset!

You just like to kid yourself and blame everybody else. Yes, true, you want to study, you want to learn driving, but where is your fucking character? Thrown out of the window!!!


I dont even know why i want to waste my time writing this to convince you to be a better person. Everybody wants to be better. But B-E-T-T-E-R is just a 6 letter word.


I hope in 20 years time, you can look back to your shady past and say, "Thank God, it made me who I am today."



Dont let it haunt you anymore, dont spend your days just covering up your lies. Be a man and face all the shit you have done.

If you have done shit, then you deserve shit, dont lie or cheat or hide hoping that nobody will know. Because even if nobody knows, you wont be able to have a clear conscience and you will never be a Successful man with character.




Change for the sake of yourself, not me.

Not your average girl.









Have always been like that since goddamn years ago.

True, i aint some hot shot dancing at the club, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect nails, i am too lazy for that.

Love me or hate me but dont settle for 2nd best if i am not your cup of tea.

That boy took my love away
Oh, he'll regret it some day
But this boy wants you back again

That boy isn't good for you
Though he may want you too
This boy wants you back again

Oh, and this boy would be happy
Just to love you, but oh, my, oh
That boy won't be happy
till he's seen you cry

This boy wouldn't mind the pain
Would always feel the same
If this boy gets you back again

This boy, this boy...

I believe that every girl, i mean EVERY girl,wants their boyfriend to think they are the best, the best they have ever had, best in every way, better than his previous ex-es, better than the other girls out there.


But ive learned. It is only a fairytale. Guys are born polygamous in nature, and can choose to be monogamous only when they are disciplined. Have you ever seen temptation island? Some guys rather satisfy their dicks rather than to win money. Its a show, but hell yea you know its true.


This is what i can conclude:
Just like here on earth, we have Black, White, Chinese, Hispanics, Indian, Arab.. (You get the drift~).
The following are 5 species of Martians..



(1) Martians with low self esteem and are happy to settle for any girl. (usually geeks or those who like to play computer games and think their dream girls are from Final Fantasy) And they usually go friendster and ask girls for their msn, dont need to be good looking just look like a human and it will be alright, and their pick-up line is always the same, "Intro?" DESPO!



(2) Martians with low self esteem but when they choose girls, they want a girl with standard. You can usually locate this specific species at clubs, trying their luck to pick girls up, and they usually based their self esteem on how many numbers he can get. If he gets lucky, he occasionally can get into some holes. If its one with a hot body, the next day he will feel great to boast around with fellow Martians.



(3) Martians who have high self esteem, usually one that make girls swoon when they pass by. They know they are cool. They know they are cute. They wont just settle for any girl, unless she is model from Maxim magazine or Deal or no deal. Most of the time they love themselves too much, they just think of girls as their accessories. So no emotional connection, nothing, usually wont last more than 3 mths, and did i mention that they have a HUGE commitment problem?



(4) The 4th species are the least harmless of all. This kinda Martians are most likely to invite girls to their spaceships for a cuppa coffee rather than to abduct you, so be rest assured. These Martians often put other things first, such as career, friends or family. Sometimes they can be so nice, you wonder if they are Martians at all. Occasionally its great, then it gets bored.. and den snap!, you took them for granted and its gone.



(5) Last but not least there are Martians that are posers, just wanna migrate to venus and act like venus-tians, if you know what i mean. But i dont blame them, its not easy being in Mars, you know, when their dicks are a little less vulnerable to circumstances, and their brains are slightly more sensitive.. sometimes i pity them. Its not easy being a girl, imagine a girl trapped in a Martian body..



I shudder at the thought.




***
Dont try to be with me just because i am that kinda girl who will stick by you and oversee your flaws. If you really think i am worth it, let me go. Dont let me suffer anymore. It hurts. I want a guy loves me for who i am. I believe i can. I dont want to be stuck wondering why i cant be the best girl in your life. No matter how hard i try... i cant be the perfect girl that you want, you keep telling yourself that you dont want to chase the eternal carrot, but you know its not about it. Let me go and find someone who truly loves me. I am sorry for what i did.


If only.. if only that afternoon i choose not to call Shan an to go to the KTV with me.. if only i never liked Phantom of the Opera.. If only you really love me from the start and thinks that i am the beautiful-lest girl in the world like it seemed on the first date..


Well, who am i trying to kid?

Please look at my zen face and listen to this song.

I am recently in love with Amy Winehouse's song, "Valerie".

The covered cover by James Morrison is also yummilicious!

But i aint gonna download it in my on-off boyfriend's house.
Why do i have a pride of a man? I get so damn sensitive about EVERYTHING. literally.

But yea, this is me.


Recently ive found a new bff..




This photo is purposely flattened so that it fits the SP card =)
This dude here is a cross between Tohwee and Derek, so funny.

I feel this song. It really relates.. baby dont you think?





Bittersweet
You're gonna be the death of me
I don't want you, but I need you,
I love you and hate you at the very same time

See what I want so much, should never hurt this bad
Never did this before, that's what the virgin said
We've been generally warned, that's what the surgeon says
God talk to me now this is an emergency

And she claim she only with me for the currency,
You cut me deep bitch cut me like surgery
And i was too proud to admit that it was hurtin me
Id never do that to you at least purposely

We breakin up again
We makin up again
But we don't love no more
I guess we fuckin then

Have you ever felt you ever want to kill her
And you mixed them emotions with Tequila
And you mix that with a little bad advice
On one of them bad nights y'all have a bad fight
And you talkin about her family her aunts and shit
And she say motherfucker your mama's a bitch
You know domestic drama and shit
All the attitude
I'll never hit a girl but I'll shake the shit out of you

But ima be the bigger man
Big pimpin like jigga man
Oh i guess i figure its

Bittersweeeeet,
You're gonna be the death of me
I don't want you, but I need you,
I love you and hate you at the very same time


And my niggas said I shouldn't let it worry me
I need to focus on the girls we getting currently
But I been thinking and it got me back to sinkin and this relationship it even got me back to drinkin and this henneseeeyyy
Is gonna be the death of me
And I always thought that you havin my child was our destiny
But I cant even vibe with you sexually
Cuz everytime that I try you will question me

Sayin "you fuckin them girls disrespectin me?
You don’t see how your lies is affecting me
You don’t see how life was suppose to be
And I never let a nigga get that close to me
And you ain't cracked up to what you was suppose to be
You always gone you always be were them hoes will be..."

And this the first time she ever spilled her soul to me
I fucked up and I know it G
I guess its bittersweet poetry…



- Kanye West feat. John Mayer

How true.




According to your responses, your perspective of humankind is neither naïve nor jaded.

Instead of assuming the best or worst of someone, you wait before making a judgment.

You prefer to have others earn your trust, and although you won’t necessarily assume everyone has a hidden agenda, you’re also not the type to accept everything people say or do at face value. Tempered with a hearty dose of skepticism, this is a relatively healthy perspective.

You may however, benefit from being a little more trusting. Unlike their less positive counterparts, optimists will at least try to find the good in even the most difficult of people, and are much more willing to place their faith in others. Although this doesn’t mean that you should trust the good intentions of everyone you meet, a leap of faith every once in a while couldn’t hurt.

A CONFESSION TO MAKE


Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a psychiatric anxiety disorder most commonly characterized by a subject's obsessive, distressing, intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (tasks or "rituals") which attempt to neutralize the obsessions.


Symptoms may include some, all, or perhaps none of the following:

Repeated hand washing.

Repeated clearing of the throat, although nothing may need to be cleared.

Specific counting systems — e.g., counting in groups of four, arranging objects in groups of three, grouping objects in odd/even numbered groups, etc.

One serious symptom which stems from this is "counting" steps — e.g., feeling the necessity to take 12 steps to the car in the morning. YES

Perfectly aligning objects at complete, absolute right angles, or aligning objects perfectly parallel etc. This symptom is shared with OCPD and can be confused with this condition unless it is realized that in OCPD it is not stress-related. YES


Fear of acting out on violent or aggressive impulses, or feeling overly responsible for the safety of others. YES


Sexual obsessions or unwanted sexual thoughts. Two classic examples are fear of being homosexual or fear of being a pedophile. In both cases, sufferers will obsess over whether or not they are genuinely aroused by the thoughts.


Strange and chronic worries about certain events such as sleeping, eating, leaving home, etc without proper items. An example would be one who literally can't fall asleep without a metronome. YES

Having to "cancel out" bad thoughts with good thoughts. An example of this would be imagining harming a child and having to imagine a child playing happily to cancel it out. YES


A fear of contamination (see Mysophobia); some sufferers may fear the presence of human body secretions such as saliva, blood, sweat, tears, vomit, or mucus, or excretions such as urine or feces. Some OCD sufferers even fear that the soap they're using is contaminated.


A need for both sides of the body to feel even. A person with OCD might walk down a sidewalk and step on a crack with the ball of their left foot, then feel the need to step on another crack with the ball of their right foot. If one hand gets wet, the sufferer may feel very uncomfortable if the other is not. If the sufferer is walking and bumps into something, he/she may hit the object or person back to feel a sense of evenness. These symptoms are also experienced in a reversed manner. Some sufferers would rather things to be uneven, favoring the preferred side of the body. YES


An obsession with numbers (be it in math class, watching TV, or in a room). Some people are obsessed with even numbers and loathe odd numbers (odd numbers cause them a great deal of anxiety and often make the person uncomfortable or even angry) or vice versa. YES

Fear of transformation. A fear of transforming into someone or something else. Losing ones self or taking on undesired characteristics is what creates the anxiety and fear. Rituals such as counting, blinking, checking, hand washing etc. may eliminate the anxiety when they are done in a way which "feels right" to the sufferer. YES

In some cases, a pattern of uniformity on a bank account may indicate obsessive-compulsive spending. For example, an OCD-affected figure skater may issue a check to his/her coach for a private lesson every week, paying the same amount each time. In addition, the affected person may feel complacent about or invincible against the economic issues.

Celebrities with OCD
Cameron Diaz
Jessica Alba
Billy Bob Thornton
David Beckham
Alec Baldwin
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Leonardo Dicaprio
Paul Gascoigne
Jane Horrocks
Natalie Appleton
Fred Durst (Limp Bizkit)
Woody Allen

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/newspol/celeb/cfeat/articles/0,,528719_685869-2,00.html

Personal Comments: I had OCD since i was a child, and i thought that i must be crazy or smth, so i didnt dare to tell anybody, until 2 years ago i met my friend Sheron who has been seeing a psychiatrist. I guess her OCD was worse because it made her so depressed that she even skipped school, but she is a very smart young lady and we clicked very well, i guess it is because we both understand how it feels to have this condition.

When i was young, battling OCD was tough. I remembered how i would blow bubbles in the shower so that i would not have asthma, i despised the colour red because it is the colour of blood, i despised odd numbers, i would avoid stepping on the drains on the pavement and many more.. until one point of time i tell myself that this has got to stop, and it was very very difficult to get over them.

Now, i still have some symptoms that i need to overcome. For one, i keep thinking that if i think that tommorow is gonna be a great day, that's when it will suck.

I fear disappointments..so much so that i doubt my boyfriend and sometimes accused him of cheating. I have so much anxiety that sometimes i would really kick up a big fuss.

Sometimes mirrors freak me out.

I despise people breathing on me because i feel that they will pass their bad luck to me, i think some of close friends noticed about this.

And then sometimes my brain will tell me to walk the other way, if not something will happen to my father, and then i'll be so scared that i am compelled to do it.

People with OCD usually have a high level of imagination, as Jessica alba says, it is part of being creative. That is why they think so much and it causes so much anxiety for themselves, i am not a freak, i just need therapy, i need love and support from friends.. I never told any of my friends and my family about this... and this post is just to let it out..

Visual Orgasm





New Album with O-so-hot MARION and Bow Wow.

Oh my god... People ask me why i prefer niggas..

Doesnt this answer your question?!?

Those arms, those weaves, caramel skin, tattoo.. I LIKE...

I sound so horny. Damn!





P.s: Jiajin is hot, too!

Just went home from Singapore mint.. Tired, cant breathe properly.
SG mint's a great place to work at, with a lot of nice people to talk to, and today Jo and Peishi went down to visit us, so sweet.


I am contented with my life, ive accepted that nothing is perfect. If it was me in 2007, i would have kept grumbling bout me having asthma, bla bla bla. But now, no.


Sometimes i ask myself whether i should re-think on my perception on relationship.
People around me know that ive never been a player (only when im single, but not really anyway), but i start to think about whether i should really stay in a serious relationship.


I really love the one that i am with now but ive little faith that it can last, at the same time, i feel that since im still young and im a late developer (more on that later) , should i put all my time and effort for just one guy?


I am a late developer for my age you know. I never stayed overnight outside till i was in Secondary school, i havent got a handphone till i was in Sec 3. I got my first rebonding with my own money when im 17 and ive never been in a relationship until i graduated from Secondary school. My first overseas trip was a school trip to Malaysia. I had my first alcohol only when i was 18 and ive never been to clubbing until i was 19. Can somebody tell me i am pathetic?!?


But nevertheless, it was good in the sense that i haven really gone delinquent, maybe if my parents are a bit less stricter i would be clubbing every week and maybe turn out to be a real slut, which i shudder at the thought of it. If i had a boyfriend when i was in Sec 2, i would probably lose my virginity then, can you imagine? Losing your virginity just because a teenage guy just got his first erection and he wants to use you to "try it out"? So disgusting!!!


And also, I dare to say that I am wiser than most girls my age. In a sense that i would never let somebody take advantage of me.

But yeah, as they say, you cant choose your parents, and i cant change the fact that i am the eldest and need to set an example (or so they say).



Ok, back to what i want to say in this blog entry..

So i am such a late developer. But I always make it a point that, if i want to be in a relationship, it must be a serious one. I dont really see marriage but i will want it to last as long as possible. And i always believe that karma exist.

Now i have confessions to make.


When i go out with Jiajin, it is just natural for us to hold hands, hug each other and kiss. I DID made up my mind to break up with him on the last day of 2007 but he wanted us to give each other 3 months, and i know that i will definitely fall in love with him again and complicate things, but he convinced me to, and because i still had feelings for him, so i accepted the three months thingy.


So now my status is unclear, but when people ask me about it, i say i am single because i dont bother to explain.


Sebastian knows about my real status, sometimes i feel that he is trying to break us up. I know what kinda person he is and i am not flattered that he likes me. I percieve him as desperate because of the fact that he just broke up with his ex of 3 years, and during that 3 years, he slept with his best friend. Being with him doesnt do much to my self-esteem, it will only make it worse.



I went for SG mint and i met this China guy that is pretty interesting. Let's call him Z.

He's like the China version of Jin, 20, very playful and he is never really serious about work. I dont look down on people from China because we are Chinese too, just that we lost our identity, which we have nothing to be proud of, although i admit that some are very ignorant.


But i am alright with ignorant people just as long as they dont act like they know everything.


I dunno Z well, but he gives me this very innocent vibe, which i kinda like. Like he is very straightforward when he talks about things. And he is very straightforward in letting me know that he likes me, sometimes i feel awkward because i dunno how to reply him.
Honestly, i DO NOT have feelings for him, but i like to talk to him because it makes me feel better for myself. I really dont know how to describe this.


When i am with Jin, my self esteem feels like an egg, so fragile, every second he can just remind me that maybe i am not that good enough, and then my self esteem just falls to pieces..


I mean, i just want to get it out of my chest, i am not blaming anyone here, because i know very clearly that confidence is from the inside, but i just know that it does play a big part in what i feel about my relationship..

Barack Obama or Hilary Clinton?

Although some of my intellectual classmates were hooked on it a few months ago, i didnt really care.. but as the election date draws near, it is time to give a shit.

I really admire Clinton for her perseverance and patience, i mean, for a scorpion like her, she should have just divorced her CHEATING Leo counterpart.
Imagine you watched the news one day and your husband told the press they just had "Oral sex ONLY" (which is just impossible, im sure he had done more than that with more than 1 woman.)


But forgiving her husband certainly pays off now, and ive been wondering whether she had everything planned out from the start. She is power-hungry, very dominating, but ultimately, she is still a woman.

Personally, i feel that she makes a great First lady, but President, maybe not.
Women pays attention to small details and i believe the lives of Americans can be improve with her as the President, but can she handle the big things..?


Will she be able clear up the mess that Bush irresponsibly left?

But then again, her CHEATING husband will be able to help her with that, if he isnt too busy sleeping with other women again. ( Sorry i just cant help it.)


Barack Obama is a pretty lovable guy. And he has got Oprah Winfrey to back him up..
Gosh, do you know how influential she is?
But this women should know that she shouldnt cross the line. I believe that she has a crush on Obama. (not convinced? Look at their pictures together.)

Sorry to sidetrack.. where was i?
Yeap. Obama.. so lovable, charming, half white, half black and used to live in Asia for a period of time. I like him for the fact that he doesnt deny his teenage delinquency and how he quit smoking with a campaign he came up with himself.

I believe this man is capable of being the US president but im afraid he might have the tendency to mess up his personal life just like Bill Clinton, but for other matters, im think he can make a better president.



My scorpio instinct tells me that he will be elected.

Anybody wants to bet?

I know it is hard to reassure you, at the same time im glad that you actually cared.
I understand how you feel but i wont try to tell you that i will never hang out with him again because i know that will be a lie.

He is never my kind of guy and if i have feelings for him, we would have been together a long time ago.

I feel that it is very contradicting.. You said he is despicable and has hidden agenda.. and he said it is best that i should find other guys out there rather than to quarrel with you all the time..

I think that the both of you do have a point but i think i can pretty much come up with a decision myself..

2007 had been a confusing year.. a year that i reflect on my past values, a year filled with self doubt and a year of making so much choices.. choices that really do affect my life.


RELATIONSHIPS

Earlier part of the year, i left somebody whom i thought that i am going to be with for the rest of my life, and i did it and i thought i would regret- he is like a sanctuary, when i left him its like im left alone to make decisions irrationally which i did.. But when i look back now, it is true that he is an extraordinary person but we are just not meant for each other.


And then i met another extraordinary person, the reason i want to be with him at the start was just to try something different. He is wild, he's crazy and he's more irrational than me. He showed me things that ive never seen before and he let me do things that ive never done before. He is a very very sinful person- but ive learnt to accept his flaws but there's only one thing that i can never stand- i can never trust him.

But what ive learnt in these 2 relationships is that i never should be so obsessed. I never should act like a motherfuckin princess and i never should have gave them attitude. And I agree and i admit that im wrong and im willing to change in 2008, regardless of how many guys i will meet in the future, it is not gonna be the same.


LIFE

There is something that has been really affecting me last year.
Looks- is it really that important?


In the past, i was the ugly duckling, i'd never hang out with the popular group but this is also the reason why ive found the bestest friendships that last for soooo long.


Now when i hang out with new people, my perception in looks really changes.


That ugly people should know that they are not of quality to wear such nice clothes, that fat people are losers, that branding is really all that matters, that it is not morally right that an ugly girl should be out with the cute guy, that the only thing to prove your self worth is by getting numbers in the streets..


But it is all BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT IS NOT RIGHT AND IT WILL NEVER BE RIGHT.


Though it is fun, i never believe that going clubbing makes you cool. Thousands of girls and guys go there, what makes you think that you are special?

Oh so that guy or girl wants your number?!?
WOW!!! Good for you! We should all get a champagne and celebrate~!!!
What a loser! Wake up! Chances are the other party is as lonely as you, or, he/she is attached but is equally a loser to be unfaithful.


If you were to judge your self esteem based on all these, then i really dont think that you are really confident.


And although a lot of fat and ugly people that ive met are a pain in the ass, but some of them that i know are really good, at least better than some good looking people ive known. Most of all, they really know how to laugh at themselves and have a good time, simple as that, how many good looking people can actually laugh at themselves? They laugh at others to feel better- ultimately, they are the real LOSERS.


Of course, i cant deny that we should all be well-groomed, but i will not be pressurized to wear full make up, to wear whatever those people should be wearing, to wear sexy lingeries and i dont give 2 hoots about manicure,
if any guy try to tell me to do so and he will fall in love with me i will tell him to EAT MY SHIT!


I will do it if i want to, but nobody's gonna change my point of view. And i am determine to find a guy that is interesting and at the same time faithful to me, and i believe i can and i will.


2008, i want a new me, stronger and wiser and not let anybody break me down.


And i will get inspiration from Oprah Winfrey, not Jessica Alba.