Finally.

I took my first step to the corporate world..
Completed the orientation today, and tommorow shall be the start of my training..

I cant wait for the "Noob" period to be over and then everything will be just fine, i guess.


And rest days became very special again..


More Sex and the City!!!

A wise man once said, "Having one true friend is better than having 10 acquaintances."


That is why to me, it is a blessing having a group of best buddies (Sop Fatim Dennis), one BFF (Shanan) and one ULTIMATE BFF.




How do you define the Ultimate Bff?

It is the one you had known so long (and so well) that most of the time you just take him/her for granted, and the one that you can drop all your facades, and he/she is the one that just criticises you straight up like drinking hard liquor.




Met up wit mine this evening, and her words snapped me into reality.


"Dont you realise the best revenge is to be successful???"

" You are so full of profanities, even your t-shirt says so. FCUK."



I bet she doesnt know that it actually stands for French Connection United Kingdom, but as for the "so full of profanities" part, its kinda true.




Since god knows when, i have this really bad and short temper. Sometimes i feel very bitter and angry inside like a metal song.. not the Nightwish kind but the Slayer kind.. (Ignore it if you dont understand what i am talking about)




And i really hate those people who give me shit for no reason and i'll make sure that they fucking regret what they did to me, that I am not that girl that they can mess with.. well, most of the time i succeed, but i still feel angry. I still feel bitter. I still feel that the "revenge" is not enough, that i should do more.




Well, maybe she is right. I should stop all this bullshit but my fucking pride do not allow me to do so. I cant forget those times and i cant forgive. I get hurt in one relationship and now i take advantage of people who thinks i am another innocent girl to cheat on.



Dont they deserve it?



I mean, i aint a heartless woman, i love my friends and those who are good to me.. but what happened to the down to earth girl that i used to be?




No, no more down to earth. Down to earth means getting cheated. Down to earth means being taken for granted. Being a good girl means getting played. Men love bitches. Hypocrites climb their way to the top of the social ladder.



Good girl gone bad?



Lol, whatever. Speaking of down to earth, i was shopping for foundation, so Chia (the ULTIMATE BFF) tried to put it on her face, and she actually rub the foundation into her face in circular motions as if she is using a facial foam... HAHAHA!!! So funny!!




Seems like she is still the same girl i know when i was in Primary 4... and me?




Ive gone from the North Pole to the South Pole. =)

Once in awhile you stumble upon a song that so relates that you just wanna cry out... but you cant.. cause' the tears, they dried on their own. And all you can do is sigh... Its just those shitty moments your head is going towards another direction away from your heart.






Now, now she loved me, shawty I loved her
Used to jump up in the maybach and roll out

Used to care, she used to share
The love that she used to give me can't be found


I lost my way, she said she'd stay
And lately I've been sleeping with a ghost
My stock is down and out, I used to be worth my weight in gold


That was before a great depression kicked in and rocked us
And that was before the hurricane came in and stopped us
I told you to leave, but you lied to me
When you said that, "baby no worries I promise to get us back".



I know sorries, just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to travel through
But it's like moving mountains...


But I keep climbing and hoping things would change
And the sky turns gray, and the water from the rain washes progress away.
It's like moving mountains...



She, she don't touch me, I don't touch her
We rarely even ever say a word.
I really want to give her everything she deserves
But the bad took away the good.
She thinks that I'm full of it, arguments, always pissed, man I'm tired


Every kiss that i miss, girl you know I'm trying.
You never believe when I say, and I never believe it when you say
I love you, and I shouldn't complain about it
I should take it like a man and walk up out it
Cause we will never be the same, ooh.
I've been standing in gas, and you have been the flame.



This must be a slow death that im travelin on
It feels so wrong, I'm barely holdin on

See no matter what it takes, ive gotta get it together

And these hills that im travelin up
She aint showin me love
I'm down on my love


Well baby why you just leave me?
Just leave me be.
Just leave me.
Just leave me be.

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE FANS TO MARCH IN PROTEST OF UNFAIR DEPICTION OF MEDIA



The march, to be held on May 31, will begin at Hyde Park's West Pond and end outside the offices of The Daily Mail.



The newspaper has recently dubbed MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE as a 'suicide cult' band in its coverage of the suicide of 13-year-old emo Hannah Bond. (See link:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-566481/Why-child-safe-sinister-cult-emo.html)


Three hundred fans are so far confirmed to march against the British press, of which the organisers from the MCR Buzznet Community in a statement claim The Daily Mail is the 'worst offender'.


Since 2006, the newspaper widely criticised emo and MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE and has recently run general pieces about the dangers of the 'cult'.



Fo Shizzle!



The Beatles influenced the hippies. Marilyn Manson caused high school massacres. Eminem caused gun fights.



And now, My Chemical Romance caused suicides?!?



As quoted, "Some time before her death, Hannah's parents, who live in Kent, noticed scarring on the inside of her wrists.
When they questioned her about it, honest and open as ever, she told them she'd inflicted the wounds herself and that it was part of an emo "initiation ceremony".

Only after her death would they discover how she had secretly chatted online to emo followers all over the world, talking about death and of the "black parade" a place where emos believe they go after they die."


Only after her death? When she told them she inflicted the wounds herself, there are no alarm bells ringing in her parent's head?



She could have gotten therapy. But they blamed it on the music.



Why do everyone have to point their fingers at somebody else whenever there is a problem? Pop culture is inevitable. It is up to the parents, and teachers to educate, or maybe kids nowadays should learn how to be smarter.


But i guess it is just a growing up phase. I still remember locking myself up in the room and blasting Linkin Park to the maximum volume.


To me, music is a form of expression. It influences, but it is up to the individual to percieve it as what it is.



Be smart, dont be a retard. =)



I dont support the march though. Its like doing something stupid to protest against something stupid. But who knows, maybe it does work! Lol..




Thoughts?!?

Life is kinda ironic.


When you say "I hate smokers", that's when you get into a relationship with one.


The moment you think Christianity is just a propaganda, a week later your friends drag you to some church and you cant wait to say the Sinner's prayer.





And this irony thing happened to me cuz i never like to have thai food. Cuz i thought it kinda stink. Until one day i was starving and i wanted to have something soupy, so i ordered Tom Yam soup at Secret Recipe, and it completely change my perception.

So yesterday i was craving for Thai food again, Jin brought me to this really good place that sells authentic Thai-Chinese cuisine.


It was MAMMA MIA~!



Mouth watering!!!




Sambal Stingray.. drools..


Ask me if you wanna go there, if u are willing to treat, maybe i'll tell u where it is at.. HAHAHA!

Yesterday we had a mini secondary school hang out, organised by Dennis..


Wanted to have dinner at the Indonesian Riverside Dining but it was crowded like hell, se we decided to have Manhattan instead.



Everybody is still pretty much the same, somewhat i still feel that there's a sec 5 geeky girl inside me, and Yida kept reminding me of my mushroom head, he never changed, still as kiddy as ever.


And that motherfucker kept elbowing me and i told him to stop which he didnt.








FUGLY!!!




Lol.. and den we went to Eski bar, cuz Shuhui worked there before and got a 30% discount, as usual, she was doing her thing, a hug-hug here and a hug-hug there, here hug, there hug, everywhere hug hug..











LMAO.

Cant wait to hang out again!

Rainbow after the rain


The day after the depressing interview with the shit-ass lawyer, i went over to my bff's house to watch Sex and the city and thanks to me, he got hooked. Cant wait for the movie to be out.



Ok, sorry, sidetracked a little. And that's when i got a call from UOB.



Fo shizzle~!



And today i went for the medical check up, got x-rayed and all and hopefully everything goes on smoothly, and i would be working for one of the leading bank in Singapore.



I am keeping my fingers crossed thou. But i PROMISE to treat my best buddies and bff to a good meal once i get my pay cheque.




As Chamillionaire once said, " Success is the best revenge."



Amen to that.

Thanks for all ur tags, sms, and a BIG BIG thank you to my always unavailable bff who was surprisingly there when i needed him.

Im crossing my fingers over something which i'll let you know in time, that is, if i get it.

Meanwhile, here's a video that cheered me up. Enjoy!

Just came back from a job interview..

It was unlike any other interviews ive been to before.


It was an administrative job from a law firm.
I did a typing test, which i thought it was extinct long ago.


But i did.


And for the second round, i went into the room just to have a little "chat" with the interviewer, which is probably the boss himself.



Instead of asking me about my strength and weakness, he asked me things like, how was the cross country in my secondary school like (i merely include it in my resume), and what do i do in my free time. I mentioned that i blog and he wanted me to give him my address, which i did.


After a few personal and redundant questions, he asked me, what is your strength?


I said i am hardworking, bla bla.


And he said, " What makes you think that you are hardworking? I give you 2 minutes to answer this question"

Me: "Yes i am.. bla bla bla"

Him, " What makes you think that you are really hardworking?"

Me: " What makes you think that i am not?"

And that's when he flipped through my application form... "well.. because of your grades.. but judging by the way you speak, not as stupid as i thought."


Not as stupid as he thought?


Those words are like a dagger, stabbing my heart over and over again.


He continue to tell me bull****, like asking me if i am faithful to relationships.. that i seem like that kinda person who goes clubbing all the time..



After the interview, i thanked him and went off. Bao hua was waiting for me for bout half an hour, and i didnt want to show him how bad i felt. After he sent me to the bus stop, i kept thinking about it and i cried all the way from Clarke Quay to SengKang.




Since i am from ITE, does that mean that i am stupid?

Does that mean that I am a cheenah girl who idolise chinese Pop stars all the time?

Does that mean that I am an ah lian who does not how to speak english?

Does that mean that i have got no class?

Does that mean that i go clubbing every night?



Does that mean that i deserve to be mocked, or be ridiculed? Does that mean that i deserved to be humiliated like that? Yes, i am from ITE, and i am a human too.


Should i be condemned for the rest of my life just because i did not realise the importance of studying hard a few years ago?


Should i be condemned for the rest of my life just because ive got no money to get a private diploma?



And to think about how people reacted when i tell them i am from ITE, it hurts more... i dont need anybody's sympathy. It is not the end.


And when i think about how people dislike me and judge me, went to my blog and diss me, just because i am from ITE, tears kept rolling down my cheeks.


And those were tears of anger. Those were tears of hatred. Those were tears of impatience.. because i cant wait.. I cant wait to prove them wrong, and i will.



One day i am going to climb my way up to the top of the social ladder, and i am going to tell the whole world that i am from ITE.




Run, rabbit, run


Some days I just wanna up and call it quits,
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks,


Every time I go to get up I just fall in piss,
My life's like one great big ball of shit,



If I could just put it all in to all my spit,
Instead of always tryin to swallow it,
Instead of staring at this wall and shit,



This is it, last straw, that's all, that's it,
I aint dealing with another fucking politic.




You think all I do is stand here and feel my nuts,
But I'm a show you, what, you gon' feel my rush,
You don't feel it then it must be too real to touch




Yeah sit up, I will tell you who I be,
I will make you hate me cause you aint me,
You aint, it aint to late to finally see,
What you close minded fucks were too blind to see,



Whoever finds me, is gonna get a finders fee,
Out this world, aint no one out their mind as me,




You need peace of mind, well here's a piece of mind
All I need's a line but sometimes,
I don't always find the words to rhyme,
To express how I'm really feeling at that time,



I'll be back baby I just got to beat this clock,
Fuck this clock, I will make them eat this watch,
Don't believe me watch, I will win this race,




And I will come back and rub my shit in your face,
Bitch, I found my niche, you gonna hear my voice,
Till you sick of it you aint gonna have a choice,
If I gotta scream till I have half a lung,
If I have half a chance I'll grab it, rabbit run... -Eminem

Have you ever wonder..

Why do beautiful girls date ugly guys?


Sometimes i go out with my guy friends, and they all look at those couples with bewildering eyes.

"I can do so much better!" They felt that the world is unfair.


Well, actually, have you ever think, that maybe this less appealing male counterpart has something that most guys dont have?



Is it because of.. MONEY?

Good sex?

Able to take her to nice places?

Sweet talks?

Caring? (CHEEESSY)



Bla bla bla, whatever.. it could be one of the above reasons, or it could be all.
But it all boils down to, what that guy can provide.


Unless you are as good looking as David Beckham, you NEED to give to impress. Give, give, give.


For most people, it is like NOT studying for an exam and expect to score. If you dont put in much effort, you reap what you sow.



If your "Put in a lot of effort" means wasting 10 cents per sms and use some of your strength to type the keypad, try harder.


Of course some MCPs will defend themselves by saying, " Eh, you bitch, expect so much for what?"



Well, i tell you, girls who DO NOT have much expectations are either
A) Fat
B) Ugly
C) Innocent Secondary School Girls
D) Low Self Esteem

or
E) ALL OF THE ABOVE


And again, the MCPs will say, "Can girls be a little bit more understanding?"


UNDERSTANDING, my foot! You want a little understanding, go to your mummy. She is the only person in the world that will understand you.




And again, those MCPs will say, " What about girls? What can they give?"



That's the reason you aint got no girlfriend, you dont know how to pay attention.


Go back to the first few paragraphs honey. =)





***

Disclaimer: Dont get me wrong, dating me (and being my friend) is easy-breezy.


I go by the simplest law of Cause and Effect:

If you are good to me, i will be nice to you too.

If you treat me bad, delibrately dislike me for no apparent reason, go to my blog and diss me, tries to use me and i find out, bad mouth me, tell me a malignant lie..


I will do all these to you THREE times back.



So, choose wisely and do this at your own risk.



Its not that scary, im a nice girl actually =)

I have to blog about this because somebody's blog entry pisses me off. He was talking about how women should serve NS and how unfair it is.. well, the world is never fair, even if it is, it is sums up as equal by nature because woman have to give birth.

Talking bout fairness.. if an irresponsible guy made his girlfriend pregnant, who suffers? The guy can just go.. the girl is left with nothing. Also, the society is still stereotyping.. single mothers dont get the same benefits.

Talking bout woman who loves money.. well, if a woman is scantily clad in public, can you blame those guys who wants to bed her? It is the same as guys/rich old man flaunting their assets, you are just inviting moneysuckers.

I think these people should give themselves a reality check. No girl in the right mind would want to marry somebody that old, it is their fault for being stupid. But in their fucking sick mind its just all about "sex-sex-sex". Well, they got what they want, isnt it? Its a "fair" exchange.

Just like what my friend always says, " The world is never fair, use it as an advantage."

Alright back to the topic, i am sure Singapore armed forces dont need many people to work as an administrator. Whatever for?

They say a woman's prime time is in her mid twenties, where her skin is flawless, her figure is perfect, everybody just wants a piece of this hot young thing. How can she spend her "peak" years in NS? Ridiculous.

Guys like to shun away from responsibilities saying, " I dun need to pay on dates, its the 21st century."

Well, fuck you! Then dont get a girlfriend! Whatever happen to chivary?

The same rules also apply to dating. The guys are the hunters, the girls are being hunted. It is invinsible but still applies in this modern society.

Still not convinced?

Well, a last example for EVERYBODY.

If a guy cheats, he is a PLAYA.

If a girl cheats, she is a SLUT.

So please, dont talk to me about equality.

Its official..

No more bboy baby.

Back to singlehood again!

To be honest, the last time i felt single was 3 years ago. Probably a case of Co-dependency.

I shall let my beloved Chris Crocker explain everything.




I love myself, i fuck myself, i feed myself!!!



Lol, I love Chris Crocker, he is so damn pretty..




Alright back to the topic, Ivan was someone that i can really talk to, but not really what i want in boyfriend. He was just there at the right place and the right time when i needed somebody, and i was infatuated with the fact that he breakdances and also faithful to his girlfriends, but as time goes by, there are lotsa differences.



Surprisingly, it was mutual thing. And he said, " What matters most is that you are happy."



Aw... At that moment, i hated myself for not being able to fall in love with him.. but i guess what they say is true, as cliche as it sounds, love cant be forced.


I want a Man's man who have seen a lot of things in life and knows how to take charge of the relationship at the same time be faithful, which is kinda impossible. And after so many things that happened, fidelity doesnt exist in my dictionary anymore.



At least not now.

The Perfect Man







Why do people cheat on their partners? Why do some people choose to be a player? Why do silly boybands like F4 exist?


Because there is no such thing as the perfect man/woman/husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend! (yea you get my drift)



Its either
A) You accept them for who they are. (And they disappoint you over and over and over again)

B) You have the best of both worlds (which is gonna bite your ass some day and you know it)

C) You stay single. (And you wonder why nobody loves you, you get lonely, and you get desperate.)



Well, many can argue that they love being single, but the truth is that, the grass is always greener on the other side. When your out with your friends, you always see couples holding hands.. and when your attached, suddenly your friends tell you how hot this new girl is at the club.




Suddenly this relationSHIT thing is just so overrated and boring.. Sometimes I am tired of giving guys chances. Everytime you think, hey, maybe A really loves you, that's when he is out to cheat on you, lie to you, fuck around, backstab you. And everytime you are a little bit more convinced that B knows how to love you, maybe eventually he will, but he never did.




So is it right or is it wrong to have more than 2 relationships? Its not like you are stuck between choosing a Lambourgini and a Ferrari.. its more like choosing between a THIRD handed Toyota and a first hand Kia that doesnt have the features you want.




Or maybe i should go ZHNG my ride.