Ystd on my way back home on the bus, suddenly felt like listening to some praise and worship songs.
In the middle of it, tears just suddenly welled in my eyes.
No tears rolled down my cheeks, my eyes are not crying.

But my heart is.

And the feeling is worst den just physically crying outwards.
Crying inwards kills.

Its worst to know you are doin something wrong, and you are still doing it.

And ur not sure why u do it, cux u FEEL like doing it.

Life is one big puzzle.
As i told papa, sometimes i just laugh abt it.
Sometimes i just choose to focus on it, get depress by wad's happening.

Optimistic?
Everybody wants to be.
But the sad thing is, we feel stronger abt the bad things in life.
So we keep focusing on it.

I am an angry bitch.
I am frustrated.
I like to curse.
I like to swear.
I hate everything around me.
I dun feel like i deserve the good things around me.
Even God.


People just wonder, "what happen to u, girl?!?"
"Oh. Cos i didnt go church nowadays."

Is it because of church or religion that's y i was surpressed by the demons in my head?!?

Wout church im just a f up bitach?

I hate everything bout life.
It feels like everything i had learnt, now i have to un-learn.

Be nice, be kind, be good?!?

WHO THE HECK WILL APPRECIATE?

People take things for granted.
I take things for granted.
Dun need to think bout karma.

Ha. So if u treat a person good, u will live longer?
Funny joke.
It is funny to me.
Life is a big joke.
A BIG FUCKING JOKE.