Just came back from a job interview..

It was unlike any other interviews ive been to before.


It was an administrative job from a law firm.
I did a typing test, which i thought it was extinct long ago.


But i did.


And for the second round, i went into the room just to have a little "chat" with the interviewer, which is probably the boss himself.



Instead of asking me about my strength and weakness, he asked me things like, how was the cross country in my secondary school like (i merely include it in my resume), and what do i do in my free time. I mentioned that i blog and he wanted me to give him my address, which i did.


After a few personal and redundant questions, he asked me, what is your strength?


I said i am hardworking, bla bla.


And he said, " What makes you think that you are hardworking? I give you 2 minutes to answer this question"

Me: "Yes i am.. bla bla bla"

Him, " What makes you think that you are really hardworking?"

Me: " What makes you think that i am not?"

And that's when he flipped through my application form... "well.. because of your grades.. but judging by the way you speak, not as stupid as i thought."


Not as stupid as he thought?


Those words are like a dagger, stabbing my heart over and over again.


He continue to tell me bull****, like asking me if i am faithful to relationships.. that i seem like that kinda person who goes clubbing all the time..



After the interview, i thanked him and went off. Bao hua was waiting for me for bout half an hour, and i didnt want to show him how bad i felt. After he sent me to the bus stop, i kept thinking about it and i cried all the way from Clarke Quay to SengKang.




Since i am from ITE, does that mean that i am stupid?

Does that mean that I am a cheenah girl who idolise chinese Pop stars all the time?

Does that mean that I am an ah lian who does not how to speak english?

Does that mean that i have got no class?

Does that mean that i go clubbing every night?



Does that mean that i deserve to be mocked, or be ridiculed? Does that mean that i deserved to be humiliated like that? Yes, i am from ITE, and i am a human too.


Should i be condemned for the rest of my life just because i did not realise the importance of studying hard a few years ago?


Should i be condemned for the rest of my life just because ive got no money to get a private diploma?



And to think about how people reacted when i tell them i am from ITE, it hurts more... i dont need anybody's sympathy. It is not the end.


And when i think about how people dislike me and judge me, went to my blog and diss me, just because i am from ITE, tears kept rolling down my cheeks.


And those were tears of anger. Those were tears of hatred. Those were tears of impatience.. because i cant wait.. I cant wait to prove them wrong, and i will.



One day i am going to climb my way up to the top of the social ladder, and i am going to tell the whole world that i am from ITE.




Run, rabbit, run


Some days I just wanna up and call it quits,
I feel like I'm surrounded by a wall of bricks,


Every time I go to get up I just fall in piss,
My life's like one great big ball of shit,



If I could just put it all in to all my spit,
Instead of always tryin to swallow it,
Instead of staring at this wall and shit,



This is it, last straw, that's all, that's it,
I aint dealing with another fucking politic.




You think all I do is stand here and feel my nuts,
But I'm a show you, what, you gon' feel my rush,
You don't feel it then it must be too real to touch




Yeah sit up, I will tell you who I be,
I will make you hate me cause you aint me,
You aint, it aint to late to finally see,
What you close minded fucks were too blind to see,



Whoever finds me, is gonna get a finders fee,
Out this world, aint no one out their mind as me,




You need peace of mind, well here's a piece of mind
All I need's a line but sometimes,
I don't always find the words to rhyme,
To express how I'm really feeling at that time,



I'll be back baby I just got to beat this clock,
Fuck this clock, I will make them eat this watch,
Don't believe me watch, I will win this race,




And I will come back and rub my shit in your face,
Bitch, I found my niche, you gonna hear my voice,
Till you sick of it you aint gonna have a choice,
If I gotta scream till I have half a lung,
If I have half a chance I'll grab it, rabbit run... -Eminem

Have you ever wonder..

Why do beautiful girls date ugly guys?


Sometimes i go out with my guy friends, and they all look at those couples with bewildering eyes.

"I can do so much better!" They felt that the world is unfair.


Well, actually, have you ever think, that maybe this less appealing male counterpart has something that most guys dont have?



Is it because of.. MONEY?

Good sex?

Able to take her to nice places?

Sweet talks?

Caring? (CHEEESSY)



Bla bla bla, whatever.. it could be one of the above reasons, or it could be all.
But it all boils down to, what that guy can provide.


Unless you are as good looking as David Beckham, you NEED to give to impress. Give, give, give.


For most people, it is like NOT studying for an exam and expect to score. If you dont put in much effort, you reap what you sow.



If your "Put in a lot of effort" means wasting 10 cents per sms and use some of your strength to type the keypad, try harder.


Of course some MCPs will defend themselves by saying, " Eh, you bitch, expect so much for what?"



Well, i tell you, girls who DO NOT have much expectations are either
A) Fat
B) Ugly
C) Innocent Secondary School Girls
D) Low Self Esteem

or
E) ALL OF THE ABOVE


And again, the MCPs will say, "Can girls be a little bit more understanding?"


UNDERSTANDING, my foot! You want a little understanding, go to your mummy. She is the only person in the world that will understand you.




And again, those MCPs will say, " What about girls? What can they give?"



That's the reason you aint got no girlfriend, you dont know how to pay attention.


Go back to the first few paragraphs honey. =)





***

Disclaimer: Dont get me wrong, dating me (and being my friend) is easy-breezy.


I go by the simplest law of Cause and Effect:

If you are good to me, i will be nice to you too.

If you treat me bad, delibrately dislike me for no apparent reason, go to my blog and diss me, tries to use me and i find out, bad mouth me, tell me a malignant lie..


I will do all these to you THREE times back.



So, choose wisely and do this at your own risk.



Its not that scary, im a nice girl actually =)

I have to blog about this because somebody's blog entry pisses me off. He was talking about how women should serve NS and how unfair it is.. well, the world is never fair, even if it is, it is sums up as equal by nature because woman have to give birth.

Talking bout fairness.. if an irresponsible guy made his girlfriend pregnant, who suffers? The guy can just go.. the girl is left with nothing. Also, the society is still stereotyping.. single mothers dont get the same benefits.

Talking bout woman who loves money.. well, if a woman is scantily clad in public, can you blame those guys who wants to bed her? It is the same as guys/rich old man flaunting their assets, you are just inviting moneysuckers.

I think these people should give themselves a reality check. No girl in the right mind would want to marry somebody that old, it is their fault for being stupid. But in their fucking sick mind its just all about "sex-sex-sex". Well, they got what they want, isnt it? Its a "fair" exchange.

Just like what my friend always says, " The world is never fair, use it as an advantage."

Alright back to the topic, i am sure Singapore armed forces dont need many people to work as an administrator. Whatever for?

They say a woman's prime time is in her mid twenties, where her skin is flawless, her figure is perfect, everybody just wants a piece of this hot young thing. How can she spend her "peak" years in NS? Ridiculous.

Guys like to shun away from responsibilities saying, " I dun need to pay on dates, its the 21st century."

Well, fuck you! Then dont get a girlfriend! Whatever happen to chivary?

The same rules also apply to dating. The guys are the hunters, the girls are being hunted. It is invinsible but still applies in this modern society.

Still not convinced?

Well, a last example for EVERYBODY.

If a guy cheats, he is a PLAYA.

If a girl cheats, she is a SLUT.

So please, dont talk to me about equality.

Its official..

No more bboy baby.

Back to singlehood again!

To be honest, the last time i felt single was 3 years ago. Probably a case of Co-dependency.

I shall let my beloved Chris Crocker explain everything.




I love myself, i fuck myself, i feed myself!!!



Lol, I love Chris Crocker, he is so damn pretty..




Alright back to the topic, Ivan was someone that i can really talk to, but not really what i want in boyfriend. He was just there at the right place and the right time when i needed somebody, and i was infatuated with the fact that he breakdances and also faithful to his girlfriends, but as time goes by, there are lotsa differences.



Surprisingly, it was mutual thing. And he said, " What matters most is that you are happy."



Aw... At that moment, i hated myself for not being able to fall in love with him.. but i guess what they say is true, as cliche as it sounds, love cant be forced.


I want a Man's man who have seen a lot of things in life and knows how to take charge of the relationship at the same time be faithful, which is kinda impossible. And after so many things that happened, fidelity doesnt exist in my dictionary anymore.



At least not now.

The Perfect Man







Why do people cheat on their partners? Why do some people choose to be a player? Why do silly boybands like F4 exist?


Because there is no such thing as the perfect man/woman/husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend! (yea you get my drift)



Its either
A) You accept them for who they are. (And they disappoint you over and over and over again)

B) You have the best of both worlds (which is gonna bite your ass some day and you know it)

C) You stay single. (And you wonder why nobody loves you, you get lonely, and you get desperate.)



Well, many can argue that they love being single, but the truth is that, the grass is always greener on the other side. When your out with your friends, you always see couples holding hands.. and when your attached, suddenly your friends tell you how hot this new girl is at the club.




Suddenly this relationSHIT thing is just so overrated and boring.. Sometimes I am tired of giving guys chances. Everytime you think, hey, maybe A really loves you, that's when he is out to cheat on you, lie to you, fuck around, backstab you. And everytime you are a little bit more convinced that B knows how to love you, maybe eventually he will, but he never did.




So is it right or is it wrong to have more than 2 relationships? Its not like you are stuck between choosing a Lambourgini and a Ferrari.. its more like choosing between a THIRD handed Toyota and a first hand Kia that doesnt have the features you want.




Or maybe i should go ZHNG my ride.