Guess we are still not ready to be friends. But its ok. There's no use pointing fingers again, i always thought things that would change and maybe we can deal with things like a mature adult. But i guess its not the time yet.



The most important thing now is to work hard for my future.. ive made a wrong decision when i recieved my Os.. and ive wasted 2 years of my life doing a course that i didnt really like. Recently have been contemplating on which industry i should invest my time and money in.



At the running track, i just fell and got a bad start.. but it is never too late. I miss studying. Kinda ironic right? I am not as privilege as others who have a rich family to pay for their school fees, that is an obstacle that i have to overcome. I cant wait to study again.



Sometimes i wish that i can turn back time to when i was doing my Os.. but it probably wouldnt make a difference.



I used to think that relationships and boyfriends were everything.. My whole universe revolved around my boyfriends, everything i did, i did it for them, i think about them like 24/7, i treated them as my one and only, and did not have eyes for anybody else.. that's when i become possessive, and then they think that since i can die for them, why not take me for granted?



But i guess everybody has to grow up someday. I'll take one baby step at a time..



I have somebody that i can talk to and a shoulder to lean on, that is good enough. =)

Finally got a chance to stay at home and rest, but my stupid nose woke me up 5 in the morning and it was running like a tap. I lay on the bed and i suddenly have random thoughts on this article me and Ivan read at Starbucks that day.. a women had a rare case of sinus and her whole face swelled and deformed.. i shuddered at the thought, tossed and turned and so here i am, blogging 7.11 am in the morning.



Ive been working 6 days straight.. just a temporary job. I need money for all those necessities! I need money to have fun! Money money why are u so hard to get? Why cant u just fall from the sky? If i walk till the end of the rainbow will i find a pot of gold there lying in front of me?!?



Pardon me, i must be writing in my sleep. Sleeping and blogging at the same time. Haha.


Oh well.. so here are some pics to keep my peeps updated of my life.



I was working wit Bboy Baby at NTU fashion bazaar selling the same Elle handbags and wallets. At first i thought it was quite funny for a guy to work in Elle but since we can earn money and spend time with each other at the same time, why not kill 2 birds with 1 stone? Haha..



IVAN 5 + 1 : Taken by Yuting Z (omg! so artistic)






The top of the Bio-science building














Work also want to act cool! Hahaha!






Alright, this is suppose to be Cheese Prata. The food there is cheap but suck BIG TIME.






Shagged faces at the end of the day...



Thank God he was there with me, if not it would be super boring. We chat bout random stuff and laughed at random people. Most people there are either foreigners or nerds.. only a handful of good lookin people but not more than ite bishan, lol.


Then in the weekend i worked for PromoSingapore, which is a PR company. Was one of the few selected to promote this coffee brand "Carte Noire." It is suppose to target the modern and sophisticated people who knows how to appreciate coffee, but its at giant hypermart, how to sell when most of the shoppers are aunties?








It is quite and experience though. Check out the commercial for Carte Noire in France, its kinda steamy so i dont expect it to air in SG.







That's all for now~ Will blog again rrreeeaaal ssoon.

Translated: I LOVE U.

It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

And when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting with
Your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself

I woke up in the middle of the night.. i get flashbacks of those memories again. Its kinda numb actually, didnt realise that i was thinking about it until the tears fell.


I wanted to walk to the toilet when i accidentally stepped on something hard. I picked it up and realise that it is a remote control, but it doesnt look like the one we had for our television or radio or whatever.


I pressed rewind.. and suddenly i went back to exactly 10 months ago, 24th May 2007, there was a guy told this girl that he is in love with her when they just met less than a week ago. That guy said,"let's get the chauffeur to head back to my house and we can finish the Ben and Jerry's ice cream."



And that was the very first lie that he told her. I couldnt stand seeing the girl fall for his tricks. So i pressed the delete button.


The rewind button brought me back to some really good times.


The guy brought her to manicures, brought her to shopping sprees, taught her how to enjoy the finer things in life and Lambourginis... Delete.

They cant seem to get enough of each other, she was always looking forward to go to his office at lavender after school.. Delete.

They went to Pulau Ubin and spend 3 days 2 nights with no one else but each other.. they fed big but cute kampong dogs with cuttlefish, they cooked instant noodles for lunch and head out to the "town" for some nice kampong dinner. They wake up to a beautiful sunrise and green lake with canoes on the side. Delete.


They went for a cable car ride just before he got into NS.. she said she would love him even if he have just 400 hundred bucks per month. They went to the dreamer's cafe and he had such a good time entertaining the entertainers, how she adored his laughter and sense of humour. Delete.


And then there were bad times.

She really wanted to enjoy her birthday gift- going to the Linkin Park concert, he made her dream come true. But just before she get to indulge in it they quarrelled over a suggestive message he sent to a girl friend. Delete.

She really wanted to please his friends and family. She got along well with his secondary school bunch. But she could never please his sister, who thinks that she was just in for the money. She could never please his best friend, even when she told him that he should never neglect their friendship. She was stereotyped. Delete.


They were at white tangerine and he kept staring at the waitress. Delete.


He couldnt stop talking about his ex, it was so torturing to hear how they got frisky in the toilet. It was so torturing to know that she is never good enough, never better than the ex. Why? In what ways? She didnt know. She just feel that way. Delete.


He badmouthed her and complaint to his friends that she was possessive, that she was not good enough. That she has an attitude problem. She called him on the phone just to hear his friend say something sarcastic about her. DELETE!



They first broke up. She couldnt slp the whole night, she was up all night thinking about him. He didnt pick up her calls. He picked up the very next day and told her he have to put down because he was seeing Anton, but it turns out that it is girl. It was a date with another girl telling her how sucky his girlfriend is. That she was never good enough for him. DELETE!


He boast to his neighbour that he would be dating an air stewardess. When she confronted him, he said no. A few months later, she found a suggestive sms that he sent to the air stewardess. Delete.


He said some more hurtful words to her. " True, you are not as pretty as the air stewardess or the pub girl but i still love you." DELETE!


" True, you may not be the trophy girlfriend, but i still want you!" DELETE!


They quarrelled real bad because she cant trust him anymore. But she decided to buy a calendar with his favourite pugs to start the new year. She skipped her school event and she had asthma in the morning. But she went to his house to surprise, to kiss him and wake him up. But little does she know that he was trying to date the air stewardess.. DELEEETTE!



They fought on Chinese new year.. she slapped him and he pinned her on the bed and refuse to let her go. There were finger nail marks all over her arms. Delete.


I couldnt stand it anymore and i forwarded the real life drama. It was yesterday 23rd of March, they were quarrelling again. They were making a scene outside the Hong kong cafe.. he blame her for moving on when he couldnt, it was all her fault. It was all her fault that she didnt take care of the hamster. It was all her fault for finding somebody who can make her life happier. It was all her fault, she could have stayed with him and suffer. But she choose not to. Its her fault! He shook her so hard, he refuses to let her go. Delete.


He said he has changed, he said he has been staying faithful while she moved on. He said he did not flirt at all. But he said it himself that he tried to get the coffee bean girl's number just for the "old times sake."


And that was the very last lie that he told her. And with a lot of effort and tears, i pressed the DELETE button for the very last time.




She knows that she has been through a lot a lot.. she is tired.. she needs a shoulder to cry on.

Someone out there is ready to catch her when she falls... She needs someone to right the wrongs, someone to tell her that it is really not that hard to love another.


Could he be the one? How does she know that he would not break her heart like what happened in the past? What if history repeats itself again?

Unfortunately, there is no forward button to see what can happen....

You disappoint me. You only think about yourself. LET ME GO!!!