2007 had been a confusing year.. a year that i reflect on my past values, a year filled with self doubt and a year of making so much choices.. choices that really do affect my life.


RELATIONSHIPS

Earlier part of the year, i left somebody whom i thought that i am going to be with for the rest of my life, and i did it and i thought i would regret- he is like a sanctuary, when i left him its like im left alone to make decisions irrationally which i did.. But when i look back now, it is true that he is an extraordinary person but we are just not meant for each other.


And then i met another extraordinary person, the reason i want to be with him at the start was just to try something different. He is wild, he's crazy and he's more irrational than me. He showed me things that ive never seen before and he let me do things that ive never done before. He is a very very sinful person- but ive learnt to accept his flaws but there's only one thing that i can never stand- i can never trust him.

But what ive learnt in these 2 relationships is that i never should be so obsessed. I never should act like a motherfuckin princess and i never should have gave them attitude. And I agree and i admit that im wrong and im willing to change in 2008, regardless of how many guys i will meet in the future, it is not gonna be the same.


LIFE

There is something that has been really affecting me last year.
Looks- is it really that important?


In the past, i was the ugly duckling, i'd never hang out with the popular group but this is also the reason why ive found the bestest friendships that last for soooo long.


Now when i hang out with new people, my perception in looks really changes.


That ugly people should know that they are not of quality to wear such nice clothes, that fat people are losers, that branding is really all that matters, that it is not morally right that an ugly girl should be out with the cute guy, that the only thing to prove your self worth is by getting numbers in the streets..


But it is all BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT IS NOT RIGHT AND IT WILL NEVER BE RIGHT.


Though it is fun, i never believe that going clubbing makes you cool. Thousands of girls and guys go there, what makes you think that you are special?

Oh so that guy or girl wants your number?!?
WOW!!! Good for you! We should all get a champagne and celebrate~!!!
What a loser! Wake up! Chances are the other party is as lonely as you, or, he/she is attached but is equally a loser to be unfaithful.


If you were to judge your self esteem based on all these, then i really dont think that you are really confident.


And although a lot of fat and ugly people that ive met are a pain in the ass, but some of them that i know are really good, at least better than some good looking people ive known. Most of all, they really know how to laugh at themselves and have a good time, simple as that, how many good looking people can actually laugh at themselves? They laugh at others to feel better- ultimately, they are the real LOSERS.


Of course, i cant deny that we should all be well-groomed, but i will not be pressurized to wear full make up, to wear whatever those people should be wearing, to wear sexy lingeries and i dont give 2 hoots about manicure,
if any guy try to tell me to do so and he will fall in love with me i will tell him to EAT MY SHIT!


I will do it if i want to, but nobody's gonna change my point of view. And i am determine to find a guy that is interesting and at the same time faithful to me, and i believe i can and i will.


2008, i want a new me, stronger and wiser and not let anybody break me down.


And i will get inspiration from Oprah Winfrey, not Jessica Alba.