In a relationship, who is to say which is right and which is wrong?
Was it me or him or both?


It didnt matter anymore.


I wanted to patch up the last time because i feel that there is hope.
Now, it is all gone.
And i will be lying if i say that i am not sad, that i dont have any feelings for him anymore.
I gotta face the truth and sometimes the truth is always not the way we want it to be.



In the past, i always hate it when things doesnt go my way but i know that i cant change the whole world to suit me.
And blending his frivolous nature with my idea of a committed relationship is just not going to work out- no matter how much he loves me, he just couldnt stay faithful..


And i am not blaming him- Honestly, who am i to blame?
It is my mistake to agree to this relationship, i already know what is in for me already, yet i still want to step into it thinkin that i can change it, and then give him attitude when i cant help but to suspect when he will be cheating on me.


So it is my fault. But it is ok to fall sometimes. I forgive myself. And i know it takes time but i can move on, and i will.

***
To: Jia Jin

Just now when we gave each other our last hug and i told you to not smoke too much, it is not what i wanted to say to you, because i know you are going to smoke anyway.

i just couldnt get it out of my mouth, but what i actually wanted to tell you is this:

" The truth always comes with a price to pay. But please remember that you can decieve the whole world but you can never decieve yourself."

Thanks for the memories.