I woke up in the middle of the night.. i get flashbacks of those memories again. Its kinda numb actually, didnt realise that i was thinking about it until the tears fell.


I wanted to walk to the toilet when i accidentally stepped on something hard. I picked it up and realise that it is a remote control, but it doesnt look like the one we had for our television or radio or whatever.


I pressed rewind.. and suddenly i went back to exactly 10 months ago, 24th May 2007, there was a guy told this girl that he is in love with her when they just met less than a week ago. That guy said,"let's get the chauffeur to head back to my house and we can finish the Ben and Jerry's ice cream."



And that was the very first lie that he told her. I couldnt stand seeing the girl fall for his tricks. So i pressed the delete button.


The rewind button brought me back to some really good times.


The guy brought her to manicures, brought her to shopping sprees, taught her how to enjoy the finer things in life and Lambourginis... Delete.

They cant seem to get enough of each other, she was always looking forward to go to his office at lavender after school.. Delete.

They went to Pulau Ubin and spend 3 days 2 nights with no one else but each other.. they fed big but cute kampong dogs with cuttlefish, they cooked instant noodles for lunch and head out to the "town" for some nice kampong dinner. They wake up to a beautiful sunrise and green lake with canoes on the side. Delete.


They went for a cable car ride just before he got into NS.. she said she would love him even if he have just 400 hundred bucks per month. They went to the dreamer's cafe and he had such a good time entertaining the entertainers, how she adored his laughter and sense of humour. Delete.


And then there were bad times.

She really wanted to enjoy her birthday gift- going to the Linkin Park concert, he made her dream come true. But just before she get to indulge in it they quarrelled over a suggestive message he sent to a girl friend. Delete.

She really wanted to please his friends and family. She got along well with his secondary school bunch. But she could never please his sister, who thinks that she was just in for the money. She could never please his best friend, even when she told him that he should never neglect their friendship. She was stereotyped. Delete.


They were at white tangerine and he kept staring at the waitress. Delete.


He couldnt stop talking about his ex, it was so torturing to hear how they got frisky in the toilet. It was so torturing to know that she is never good enough, never better than the ex. Why? In what ways? She didnt know. She just feel that way. Delete.


He badmouthed her and complaint to his friends that she was possessive, that she was not good enough. That she has an attitude problem. She called him on the phone just to hear his friend say something sarcastic about her. DELETE!



They first broke up. She couldnt slp the whole night, she was up all night thinking about him. He didnt pick up her calls. He picked up the very next day and told her he have to put down because he was seeing Anton, but it turns out that it is girl. It was a date with another girl telling her how sucky his girlfriend is. That she was never good enough for him. DELETE!


He boast to his neighbour that he would be dating an air stewardess. When she confronted him, he said no. A few months later, she found a suggestive sms that he sent to the air stewardess. Delete.


He said some more hurtful words to her. " True, you are not as pretty as the air stewardess or the pub girl but i still love you." DELETE!


" True, you may not be the trophy girlfriend, but i still want you!" DELETE!


They quarrelled real bad because she cant trust him anymore. But she decided to buy a calendar with his favourite pugs to start the new year. She skipped her school event and she had asthma in the morning. But she went to his house to surprise, to kiss him and wake him up. But little does she know that he was trying to date the air stewardess.. DELEEETTE!



They fought on Chinese new year.. she slapped him and he pinned her on the bed and refuse to let her go. There were finger nail marks all over her arms. Delete.


I couldnt stand it anymore and i forwarded the real life drama. It was yesterday 23rd of March, they were quarrelling again. They were making a scene outside the Hong kong cafe.. he blame her for moving on when he couldnt, it was all her fault. It was all her fault that she didnt take care of the hamster. It was all her fault for finding somebody who can make her life happier. It was all her fault, she could have stayed with him and suffer. But she choose not to. Its her fault! He shook her so hard, he refuses to let her go. Delete.


He said he has changed, he said he has been staying faithful while she moved on. He said he did not flirt at all. But he said it himself that he tried to get the coffee bean girl's number just for the "old times sake."


And that was the very last lie that he told her. And with a lot of effort and tears, i pressed the DELETE button for the very last time.




She knows that she has been through a lot a lot.. she is tired.. she needs a shoulder to cry on.

Someone out there is ready to catch her when she falls... She needs someone to right the wrongs, someone to tell her that it is really not that hard to love another.


Could he be the one? How does she know that he would not break her heart like what happened in the past? What if history repeats itself again?

Unfortunately, there is no forward button to see what can happen....