Why?!?

Why did u have to wait till i give up all my hope for u, den tell me that u love me?
How many times, when we are always on the verge of breaking up, but u nv once realise that there is a problem.

Until one day u found out that i might leave u for someone better, den u come and tell me all sorts of things.

I cant seem to trust u anymore. I cant trust that u can never hurt me no more.

After this 1 year and 3 months, im starting to realise, whether is it love or not?

Im jealous of ur other girlfrens- scouts, school, family, camps, YEC or wadeva shit.
I cant change ur interests, ur everything, that would not be u, i know.
Yet can i blame u for havin such commitments?


But im also ur commitment too.
At my weakest moments, when i needed u so badly, ur far away in the forests of Msia.
is it too demanding for a girlfriend to ask for some time, and more love?

Now that i see him, i see a totally different man, i was thinkin, maybe its time for me to go?

Of course if i have to choose, i rather stay with a person i know a year rather than a person i know a week.

Im not that unfaithful type, i dun want him to be the cause of the break up.

BUT to me, it seems like he is the wake up call of a break up.
Im tired of giving u chances.

Yesterday, i cried and seek God for help. Im really torn between 2 choices. And then i think about the verse in the old testament, and i said to God, " Lord, if he is realli the chosen one for me, let him meet me at 10am tmr.

I was realli intending to give u up, until i recieve ur msg today, telling me ur buying breakfast for me today.

God, i noe that u know what is best and what pleases u. But I dun want everything to be the same again. Ive given up too many possiblities for him, is it worth it to give up another?