Some pics we took at vivocity.
I LURVVE SHOPPING!!!
(When i have the cash, tt is. heh. And lotsa pictures!!!)

The hardest part of death is leaving you..

This song makes me cry.


My Chemical Romance- Cancer

Turn Away,
If you could get me a drink of water
Cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
help her gather all my things
and bury me in all my favourite colors
my sisters and my brothers
still, I will not kiss you
Now Turn Away
cause I’m awful just to see
cause all my hairs abandoned all my body
I’m in agony
know that I will never marry
and baby I’m just Sogin from the chemo
and counting down the days to go
its just a Livin
and I just hope you know
that if you say
goodbye tonight
I'd ask you to be true
Cause the hardest part of death is leaving you

Ystd on my way back home on the bus, suddenly felt like listening to some praise and worship songs.
In the middle of it, tears just suddenly welled in my eyes.
No tears rolled down my cheeks, my eyes are not crying.

But my heart is.

And the feeling is worst den just physically crying outwards.
Crying inwards kills.

Its worst to know you are doin something wrong, and you are still doing it.

And ur not sure why u do it, cux u FEEL like doing it.

Life is one big puzzle.
As i told papa, sometimes i just laugh abt it.
Sometimes i just choose to focus on it, get depress by wad's happening.

Optimistic?
Everybody wants to be.
But the sad thing is, we feel stronger abt the bad things in life.
So we keep focusing on it.

I am an angry bitch.
I am frustrated.
I like to curse.
I like to swear.
I hate everything around me.
I dun feel like i deserve the good things around me.
Even God.


People just wonder, "what happen to u, girl?!?"
"Oh. Cos i didnt go church nowadays."

Is it because of church or religion that's y i was surpressed by the demons in my head?!?

Wout church im just a f up bitach?

I hate everything bout life.
It feels like everything i had learnt, now i have to un-learn.

Be nice, be kind, be good?!?

WHO THE HECK WILL APPRECIATE?

People take things for granted.
I take things for granted.
Dun need to think bout karma.

Ha. So if u treat a person good, u will live longer?
Funny joke.
It is funny to me.
Life is a big joke.
A BIG FUCKING JOKE.

Gold lions gonna tell me where the light is....

The tune never got out of my head since the very
first time i heard the song.



Its not my type of rock, but its cute.

Now how do they classify this genre?
Ani music experts can tell me where the light is?

Got feedback by some people tt
i shldnt blog bout work too often.

Let me blog abt life den.

Today some asshole in sko hit my face wit his file.
And he's gonna get it from me tmr.

Will blog bout my sweet revenge tmr. =)

I dun understand, why do some people like to use their powderful
english to break people down?

So what if u speak fuckin fluent angmoh?!?
So what if u are rich?!?
So what if u so called, "Know" my boss?

The truth is, i dun give a fucking damn.

Maybe i shld pity these kinda loners, shopping alone,
nuttin to do at home, so they have to come into some shops and show
their fuckin authority?

Here's some powderful english that ive found:
abhorrent, atrocious, awful, base, beastly, contemptible, cursed, deplorable, despicable, detestable, disgusting, execrable, foul, grim, hairy*, hateful, heinous, hellish, horrible, loathsome, lousy, nasty, nauseating, obnoxious, odious, offensive, repellent, reprehensible, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, rotten, sleazeball, stinking, terrible, very bad, vile, wretched.

Go on, highlight them and store it in ur motherfuckin brain!!
And use it on some innocent sales assistant!!

Customer is always rite.
Come on, YOU know ur rights.

Meanwhile, go home and fuck the wall, COCK-y bastards!!!

i stopped watching love movies 
and dramas since donkey years ago.
Because i dun wanna end up love sick 
or despo for guys or smth like tt. 

but these days i felt like i was getting heartless,
so decided to rent a love story from video ezy.

And wow, im so freakin glad tt i borrowed it.
So i watched "The notebook" wit my baby.
Quite an old show. But nevertheless we love it.
Makes us cherish each other more.

I meant, how long will u be living?
If u can die of old age, tt's great.
But how long is a lifetime?

i want forever. Wit my furby fishball caveman alien. Heh.

Touched my heart.
Felt it.

Imma little less heartless today. =)

Wun u cheer for me?!?

Posed to entertain sop.





 

Had a shitty day at work ystd.
but realise my attitude was quite bad.
Maybe im just too tired. Its not easy to juggle work and studies.

I cried so hard, in front of my manager somemore.
Malu sia.

Things that i have learnt as a HUMAN
1) Life is not a fairy tale.

2) Humans always think they know anything, but they dont know EVERYTHING.

3) Small fishes eat shrimps, medium fishes eat small fishes and BIG fishes eat
medium fishes.

4) Money isnt everything- only to a VERY SMALL extent.

5) The SMALL extent is because of Love- family, BGR, friends stc.

6) The SMALL extent doesnt include those who give because of they "love"
but inside their hearts, they still mind.

7) Not many Humans actally mean what they say.

8) Humans feel that they are very wise when they advice or reprimand a person,
but when tables are turned they do not act the same way as they advice others.

9) No matter how FLAWLESS u think u are, there will be humans talking behind ur back.

10) Humans take things for granted.

11) Humans are contradicting.

12) Customer is always right. Sometimes u feel like punching his face or burn his dick
wit acidic liquid but u cant.
Because you have supervisors, managers, an a big boss who gives little pay but
expects u to work overtime for him.
The boss doesnt care bout ur rights, or ur feelings.
His main objective is money.

and that leads to my last conclusion..

13) Humans are selfish.

Its only been a day since we parted.

But I miss my bodyguards to bits.

Jus took a glance at the time now. 5.50AM.
zzz.
Woke up at 4 am, itch in my nose. turns to a huge flu again.

Look, im typing deliriously. dang.

My brain cant even process properly.

Just visited the O school website- its partly organised by my church..
Teaching street dance and hip hop moves.
Feelin the 'its-interesting-i-wanna-join" itch.
U see, i have no dreams anymore.
I seriously dunno wad's my passion for life.

Age 6, cops shows are freakin popular.
I wanted to be a policewoman.

Age 13, loves singing.
I wanted to be a singer.

Age 15, thy articles published frequently in sko newsletters. 
I wanted to be a journalist.

Age 17, O levels results.
Hopes dashed.
Dreams disappeared.

Disappointed?
Discouraged?
Beyond hope?

No idea. I just dunno where i wanna go.
Wad's my true passion?
Can i realli find out what i realli love in life and ignite it into a passion?
Or do i just join smth, hoping that i will get interested in it one day,
den cry to my boyfriend when things goes wrong?

feel so weak. I want to be strong. I dun want to rely on him always.
I dun want to be in any mundane job, inside of me, i want something extraordinary.
Not just a office worker, goin to work in her own cubicle from 9 to 5.
Not just a sales assistant, with meagre pay and tiring working hours.

i crave for something glamourous.
i crave for something exciting.
i want people to admire me.

Its no freakin mistake to say this in my blog. (i mean, how many ppl can be this true
when writing their own blog?)

i dun crave for fame.. its a short term thing.
No, not actress, not singer.
these jobs are pretty superficial.
Im fuckin demanding la. Ha.


If there's one thing that i can say i have true passion with, its my fuckin obsession wit
hip hop and rock.
passion=obsession?!?


God, show me the light.
Ignite the fire in me and i will shine for u.
I wanna shine for u, Lord.

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Yu ting!

1. Scientists believe that Yu ting began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas!
2. Fifty-two percent of Americans drink Yu ting!
3. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their Yu ting!
4. The colour of Yu ting is no indication of her spiciness, but size usually is.
5. Edinburgh imports three thousand kilograms of Yu ting every year!
6. It takes forty minutes to hard-boil Yu ting.
7. Yu ting can last longer without water than a camel can.
8. Yu ting is the world's tallest woman!
9. A thimbleful of Yu ting would weigh over 100 million tons!
10. A Yu tingometer is used to measure Yu ting.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

 

Went to watch "The Banquet" wit my baby few days ago.
Kinda dragged him into it, cuz u know, he is not as artistic as i am.
Hahaha.
Nah...
I always watch those typical comedies, so i wanna try something new. 
And i didnt regret it, it is a great movie- Sex, lies, hatred, revenge, murder, greed..
All about being human. ha.
And what's more poisonous than venom?
"The human heart."



We are 2 suckers for movies. Haha.
Ystd we went to video ezy to borrow another DVD to watch again.
"Harold and Kumar goes white castle."
Im sure its gonna be fun.

Okie gonna watch my fav. antm show again..!!
TATA!!!!

The fucking new semester is coming.

And i fucking hate sko. I dream about it every nite.
I dread about it every single second.


Fuck. Hope i can quit sko. Wun get me far aniwae.


Okie here to share a song that i find it very meaningful.
No F words, no S words.. just a great song.

I am not my hair- India Arie Feat. Akon

Talking:

Is that India.Arie? What happened to her hair? Ha ha ha ha ha




[Verse 1]

Little girl with the press and curl

Age eight I got a Jheri curl

Thirteen I got a relaxer

I was a source of so much laughter

At fifteen when it all broke off

Eighteen and went all natural

February two thousand and two

I went and did

What I had to do

Because it was time to change my life

To become the women that I am inside

Ninety-seven dreadlock all gone

I looked in the mirror

For the first time and saw that HEY....



[Chorus]

I am not my hair

I am not this skin

I am not your expectations

I am not my hair

I ma not this skin

I am a soul that lives within



[Talking:]

What'd she do to her hair? I don't know it look crazy

I like it. I might do that.

Umm I wouldn't go that far. I know .. ha ha ha ha



[Verse 2]

Good hair means curls and waves

Bad hair means you look like a slave

At the turn of the century

Its time for us to redefine who we be

You can shave it off

Like a South African beauty

Or get in on lock

Like Bob Marley

You can rock it straight

Like Oprah Winfrey

If its not what's on your head

Its what's underneath and say HEY....



[Chorus]



[Bridge]


Does the way I wear my hair make me a better person?


Does the way I wear my hair make me a better friend? Oooh


Does the way I wear my hair determine my integrity?


I am expressing my creativity..




[Verse 3]

Breast Cancer and Chemotherapy

Took away her crown and glory

She promised God if she was to survive

She would enjoy everyday of her life ooh

On national television

Her diamond eyes are sparkling

Bald headed like a full moon shining

Singing out to the whole wide world like HEY...





[Ad lib]

If I wanna shave it close

Or if I wanna rock locks

That don't take a bit away

From the soul that I got



If I wanna wear it braided

All down my back

I don't see what wrong with that




 

Lord.. let me know.
Should i trust my instincts, my heart and my own feelings,
or should i do what i SHOULD do?
What they tell me to do?
Wad is morally right?

Wad is right?
Wad is wrong?

Looking back on the past few years..ive been a good girl. Doin wad people think its right.
Listening to people's advice and following it.
I was sensitive bout people's feelings, afraid that i might hurt people's feelings,
so i did what i dont feel like doing.

Or maybe i wasnt...?
Is it just a facade?
Maybe i just wanna find a friend?
Maybe i just wanna be popular?
Maybe i just wanna let people think that im a nice person.

And maybe that isnt realli true after all.

I dun want to be bad, i dun want to be nasty.
I just dun want to be a hypocrite.
i wanna do things i feel like doing, say things i feel like saying.
I dun want to play the "i think they will think that way bout me.. " game wit myself.
Its tiring.

I want to be real.

Few days before went out wit a hypocrite friend of mine. She still hasnt change.
Before hanging out i was like, shit, better dun reveal too much secret, or wadeva things
bout myself, she is bound to spread it like wildfire, den people will have a bad impression
of me.

It was always a struggle to hang out wit her in sec sko, cos' she was always telling me how
bad those people are, and then got along so well with them.
she showed me how hypocrisy is like, and i hate it.

When we met up again few days ago, i was surprised. Not by her. By myself.
How much ive changed. (Because she hasnt.)
ive realised over the months, ive changed not only by appearance, but my thinkin as well.
Im no longer what she thinks i am.
She didnt manage to break me down.

Still trying to find the real me. After so many things that has been said and done,
im still quite lost in what is right and what is wrong.
Some things are still pretty vague to me.
But i'll have to follow my heart.
Im no longer a kid anymore, i think for myself.


Bye bye, Ms Nice.
Hello, Real Me!